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my_ancient_eyes: I wonder what she looks like. . . naked. I mean-- I wonder what she cooks like . . . naked.

2007-10-16T08:25:00.001-07:00

I don't know how but class revolved around sex yet again. Some guy brought up "freaks" and what is considered normal sexual behavior. I think that we'd be able to come up with a definition if everyone was more comfortable talking about their kinks. Of course amongst a group of people, I am not so I said nothing. What is the relevance of that anyway? It's called preference for a reason. It has nothing to do with normal. Anyway, it was pretty funny and I am scheduled to run lines with Farrington tomorrow during my break. He said "During the last show, Terri locked me in a room and slapped me around until I learned my lines. And I want you to do it again." Ah the jokes, the jokes.

Also, I don't know why I feel like crap today. Sinuses I reckon but still. My head is so congested and everything aches. Don't like it at all. Nor do I like having a denist appointment tomorrow with a guy I don't know . . . bahh dentists.

Guys at the other side of the room are talking about ladies . . It's really annoying and piggy.

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:23:00.003-07:00

uncut.

the 9 minutes must be recovered! HAHAHAH. i'm not kidding. i will get hold of te 9 minutes!

anyhows, today my inner rebel streak was developed to its fullest potential. we conveniently walked out of school for lunch at j8, without the intention of watching the movie initially, but somehow, we got round to doing so. and i didn't regret it at all. (but i bet Julian did. he realized it was a Chinese movie after the 4 women played mahjong for 4 whole minutes -____________-)

so the movie. wah it is a SUPER slow movie. like Brokeback Mountain. if i was sleepy, i would have slept half the show away. and probably wake up only at the not-even-sex sex scenes. okay i'm kidding. the 'sex' scenes weren't even whatever 'sex' scenes. after they cut it all out.
but, because i was awake the ENTIRE time, the show is actually very intriguing! it is so deep, i was still thinking about it at night. as in the show was still at the forefront of my thoughts. that's why i say my withdrawal symptoms of ANYTHING is very serious one! ><

Julian doesn't think it's deep, but i think so. so whatever hahaha. it was so exciting at some parts! :D and Leehom was just... just. simply. hyperventilatable. really. everytime he came out, my breath was caught. LOL serious! i'm not kidding. i haven't seen Leehom for so long. haha luckily got BFF there to hyperventilate with me lol. okay actually she didn't - only i did, fine -______-
but the ending was so expected yet i didn't expect it. aiya watch it and you'll get what i mean.

BUT, I STILL MUST SAY, LEE ANG IS SOME DAMN GOOD DIRECTOR :D thumbs up for the man :)

after the movie, we adjourned to eat - again. cos it was raining and all. then we laughed so much. we being Oli, HY, Mel and Julian.
then my Comm meeting was cancelled, and so Mummy came to fetch me, and BFF came to my house, since we wanted to continue our delinquent streak.
we watched Secret, and many other shows. Secret is another nice show omg. if i were in the cinema, i would have cried. but i think Lakehouse was nicer. i don't know haha! (:

BFF just went home not too long ago. i need to settle some stuff about the Comm thing, and i really yao shui jiao le.

okay. TYL cannot be such a rebel anymore. TYL cannot let her mood decide her physical actions (eg: ponning) anymore. TYL has to start being a good girl and go to school (except Thurs cos the lessons are really SO bangsai i think i might just kick myself for going) and read her lecture notes.

okay! word of the day: DELINQUENT :D:D

goodnight and byebye! (:

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:23:00.001-07:00

WARNING!!!!!!!!!
WARNING!!!!!!!!!

This entry is an acct of the days leading up to and beyond the play party and munch on sat. There are some details but not a blow by blow of the play. I was there I don't need a blow by blow.

Hello folks
There has been something missing from this journal the last few days. I have found it hard to write about the planning for the BB after party. Im not sure why. I mean it would be easy to say it was because I was worried about her reading it. Im not sure if that's the only reason though.
Wed - I got the bag out and cleaned the toys as best I could. I got a spray bottle and used a 1 part bleach 9 part water solution and sprayed everything, and wiped each thing down with a damp cloth. I don't know if that did a perfect job, but it was the best I could do.
Friday - I spoke to babygirl -- really it was sat morning really early and one of the last things she said was that she might play with BD when she saw him. My stomach gets tight just thinking about it now. Sighs - on some level I think the minute I don't care at all with whom she plays or if she plays with others at all will truly be the moment we are done as a couple. When she called on the way to school she found out that her sister wasn't going to be there and she was counting on money from her to be able to go to see BD. She said she wasn't going. I figured that either she would still meet up with her sister or the BD would give her the money or he would meet somewhere close to where she was and they would talk in the car.
I shaved my head that morning and nicked myself pretty good. The day was not starting well. I took the boys to karate and met cindy after for lunch at hometown buffet. After I finished my "first plate" Tyler decided projectile vomiting would be fun, not once not twice, but three times as I rushed him toward the bathroom.
Needless to say my stomach decided it wanted no more food. I soon noticed that in addition to the wall the floor and a waiter or two, tyler had also redecorated my boots. As we were leaving I saw that she had sent a text msg saying that she was there. -- More stomach flops-- We stopped to gas up both cars as we left and decided to get arnett some pants at sears -- in the men's department. No more boys sizes for my "little" man. The trip to the store was typical.
[Insert typical tantrum from arnett here]
[Insert typical insensitive remark from cindy here]
On my way home she pm' ed me again saying she was leaving.
I told her she could call and as I parked we talked for quite a while. It was a hard talk but a good one. It was a very hard talk. I don't think Ill ever be simply "ok" with her playing. I would much rather be able to be there however often our needs required. Once a month, anything would be better than once every couple of yrs and/or someone else putting their hands on her. My feelings aside from what she said then and since it was a good experience for her.
After we spoke I get home and start getting ready -- gotta clean "tyler" off my boots. I manage to loose my keys and get frantic before finding them. When I do get going I run into heavy traffic. It turned out ok though. Babygirl called and we spoke until I got there. A new bit of info, she told me that she got nude when she played. That was hard to hear because it was something that I had said was a limit. I understand -- EVEN IF I STILL DONT LIKE IT -- why though. Finally I arrive at the munch and see lots of friendly faces ,old friends and soon to be friends. I spoke to Vi Johnson -- Im still green enough to get a kick out of her calling me sir. "Ole Girl" is already there talking to Momma Vi. We say hello but its so crowded that we have to sit apart. Another sub sits beside me at my table and we talk until "ole girl" makes her way over to an adjoining table. I excuse myself and sit down to talk to her. I see that she is drinking.
[insert prior talk on topic]
After that is settled its soon time for the play party -- Once there folks are annoyed -- Its a small small place. Most sit around and pout or go home. Slo did a pretty good rope demo -- in a style I really want to use on babygirl so I asked a lot of questions. When it was done "ole girl" and I played. It was very hard to focus at first. I stopped took a deep breath and relaxed. It was a good scene. I think so anyway. Except for the chair someone moved close after I started and snagged the flogger on. That was annoying but funny. When we were done she didn't need much after care. I helped her get her stuff together and we talked a bit and I was on my merry way. I cant ignore the good feelings I had during and after the scene. The one thing that was hard was how deeply I wanted to have sex. Not with "ole girl" just general horniness. I know Im not alone but a good bdsm scene is as good as any porno of raw wild sex.
When I checked my phone I saw that she was concerned and checking on me. That put a huge smile on my face. We talked all the way home and for over 30 mins as I was parked. Looking back I spent more time on the phone with her then I would normally on a sat. Mon we were talking while she was on her way to work. When she arrived she read a post about the munch and went into "novel" mode. I knew that she was posting to journal -- when she told me she had I read it. She put her feelings out there and there is no need to rehash them here. We did speak about them some --and Ill leave it at that for now. We are communicating which is the greatest.

Me

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:21:00.003-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:21:00.001-07:00

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:20:00.001-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:19:00.003-07:00

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:19:00.001-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:18:00.001-07:00

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:17:00.001-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:16:00.003-07:00

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:15:00.003-07:00

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

2007-10-16T08:15:00.001-07:00

capttripps

2007-10-16T08:14:00.003-07:00

edijason: Wee Play, Printable Communication Games, Play The Best RPG Strategy PC Games!

2007-10-16T08:14:00.001-07:00

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capttripps

2007-10-16T08:13:00.001-07:00

edijason: Wee Play, Printable Communication Games, Play The Best RPG Strategy PC Games!

2007-10-16T08:03:00.001-07:00

Stick RPG, Strategy RPG Games - Presented by AddictingGames

Sryth: The Age of Igtheon (TM) - Fantasy RPG

live action role play - welcome to buy online - where role-players and fantasy
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90 Responses to 8220 Grow RPG 8221
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a rpg and anime ring - besm: final fantasy style
90 Responses to 8220 Grow RPG 8221
a rpg and anime ring - besm: final fantasy style
GrowPlayer Says: April 6th, 2007 at 4:40 am
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2007-10-10T04:03:00.001-07:00

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sulkyblue: New Season: Gossip Girl

2007-10-10T03:49:00.001-07:00

Today I have a sore throat, no voice and a mild headache (at least it's mild now that it's had lemsip max strength capsules thrown at it). So no work for Lorna, which means lots of tv watching and lots of reviews posted here hopefully. I realise that probably no one is reading these things, but labelling my compulsive tv watching as a "writing exercise" makes me feel better about my pathetic life. Ordinarily each year I'll pick up a couple of new shows at the very start of the seasons. Then as the year progresses some shows will make it onto my radar and I'll pick them up mid-season because someone tells me I should. Last year for example I started watching Heroes, Drive and Studio 60 as soon as they aired, and Friday Night Lights and Brothers and Sisters towards the end of their seasons based on critical reviews for the first and my brother's recommendation for the second. This year, if I'd followed my usual tactics I would have watched Pushing Daisies and probably Bionic Woman and Private Practice, possibly Dirty Sexy Money. What this pilot watching is showing me is that I'd have missed out of some pretty interesting shows if I'd only done that. I would probably have picked them up eventually (eg this year I also discovered Criminal Minds and Deadwood) but then I'd have missed some of the excitement and smugness of following a show from the start (I'll always regret the fact I didn't get into Buffy for several years, even mocking it!) Gossip Girl is a show which I'd probably not have paid any attention to, possibly even gently mocked and eventually I would have had to eat my words on finding out how good it really is. The show centres around the trials and tribulations of some fantastically wealthy New York kids attending a pretentious private school. They are the darlings of the city, but they are unsurprisingly screwed up and pretty ridiculous a lot of the time. To balance the scales are a more down to earth brother and sister and the mysterious return of the former queen of the socialites who has now fallen from grace. The story is told by the omniscient voice of Gossip Girl, someone who gathers information of sightings of the school stars and re-distributes it via the voiceover and the characters' cell phones. This show is wonderful! This show is the natural and worthy successor to Veronica Mars. Kristen Bell certainly thinks so, she provides the voice over from Gossip Girl herself with all the bitchiness and snideness of Veronica at her very best. The show brings elements from Veronica Mars, Cruel Intentions, Buffy, even Beverly Hills 90210! And if the pilot is anything to go by it's going to be as guiltily addictive as they each were in their time. There are some elements of mystery but to be honest the plot is pretty inconsequential to the general minute to minute joy of this show. I was genuinely intrigued by the characters, some of whom appear to be nothing more than stereotypes for 95% of the time but then with just one little glance or eyebrow move suddenly reveal some depth. The acting is superb and the chemistry is immediate and comfortable (except where it's not supposed to be); I immediately found myself rooting for the new couple. What makes this show come alive though is Kristen Bell's wonderful voice-over. It makes everything seem more dramatic and important somehow, letting you know that while these issues may seem pretty ridiculous to normal people they are everything to the people experiencing them. The show also looks good with vibrant colours and a beautiful looking New York. I loved this show, I really did. I can't think of a single miss-step except for the minor complaint of rich kids on a school bus. It falls into the guilty pleasure category because at the end of the day, it is 'just' a high school drama. But as guilty pleasures go, based on the pilot episode, it's a particularly smart and slick one. The even better news is that it's getting good ratings and has the honour of being the first new show picked up for a full season. I'll definitely be downloading the next few episodes and have my fingers crossed they're just as good. imdb
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2007-10-10T03:36:00.001-07:00

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disolucion: Ugh..

2007-10-10T03:21:00.001-07:00

Fuck this.
Yes, I'm going to be 'selfish'. You know what? I don't give a shit anymore, I really don't. I dont give a shit about the bitch who's pregnant with my love's kid. I don't care about the child at all and I'll keep my thoughts on it to myself. I'm not in the mood to hear someone bitch at me for speaking my miind. Learn to accept that people (not just me) DONT CARE about it, her, or the situation. Anyone who pities HER, is supporting her, and supporing that.. illigitimate child, you're a dumbass little prick. Hello? What about me? I'm the victim, she is not. The fact that everyone passes it off as okay, and either pities him or pities her is fucking bullshit. Don't pity her; she did it to herself, don't pity him; he did it to himself. I'm sorry, but what the fuck is up with everyone's sense of morality? I HATE that almost everyone that knows about it was lik "Oh yeah I already knew" or "Oh well" about it. Nobody is takig my side, and nobody is taking care of ME. They pay preg bitch more attention than me, when i'm the one that got fucked over and lied to for two years straight, and treated like shit. What the fuck? You feel bad for the bitch that knew he was dating me but fucked him anyway? There's a little something wrong with that, i'm sorry. You'e messed up in the head if you think otherwise. As far as i'm concerned: that kid won't ever be as smart, cute, lovable, or loving as one I would make. Sorry if that seems stupid to you, but it's the 100% truth. Caedon will never be able to compare, and his mother thinking so is really sad. At least my children will be wanted, and won't be accidents, and won't be desperate attempts to cling to people that aren't mine. Oh, and my children won't be subjected to any bullshit, and she's a big walking pile of shit, imo. It's like I don't exist to anyone until THEY need to talk. Fuck that, fuck you. If you're stupid enough to be supportive of reanna and the kid that shouldn't be existing at all, delete yourself from my friends list now. You obviously don't give a shit about me like you say and you have no place in my life. Think i'm bitter? Hell yes i'm bitter. Think i'm pathetic? Good for you. I think if you're stuck in some bullshit depression and cutting yourself, drugging, drinking, or whatever else; you're a deadbeat and are going to get absolutely nowhere anyway. Get over yourself, it's NOT that bad, and move on with your life you ignorant, arrogant wannabe-adults. STOP bitching. STOP crying. STOP dragging your feet and start doing something. All of you. There's no way you can say you're feeling worse than I have for the last 10 months. Fuck that, fuck you.

verinvaldez: Rilo Kiley's "Under the Blacklight"

2007-10-10T02:56:00.001-07:00

So listen, I actually enjoy their new album although it is very different. That's not the problem I had. Even though Pitchfork Media was really harsh on the new album, I gave it a chance and I am still glad that I did. What they do mention, and what I completely agree on, is that this was their "come-out", "sell- out", "MTV VMA put-out" album, and it was very intentional in the sense that they wrote, styled, and modeled it for the mass audience. MTV's Artist of the Week is Rilo Kiley, which means they are constantly whored every commercial break with "new" artist info and all that jazz. Their show in San Diego is this Friday at Soma for $22. I hate normal, one major headliner shows over $20 just based on my belief that they must be very egotistical and full of themselves. This only counts for bands and musicians that were "underground" before. Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, and the Spice Girls can charge $20,000 for their concerts and I say more power to them, but not musicians that have had a previously unnoticed album, let alone three, which came out six years ago (as in our beloved's). Anyway, needless to say, I won't be attending, but I wanted to go just to jeer at them, wear a smart-ass shirt degrading their choice, and make damn sure that Ms. Lewis saw me. What I really mean to say is that it's all downhill (for former fans), and uphill (for the band), in the sense that their popularity will grow tremendously, they will be covered much more in the media, their shows will be more than a mere $22, they will be dating other musicians and we will care, and the fashionable Jenny will be in Vogue for her eclectic, but very stunning, style. And I can't do a damn thing! I'm only one person right? We all know that a single man cannot move mountains, so I should stop pretending.
Please participate:
1 means you strongly diasgree; 10 means you strongly agree.

erdbeerbox: CROWS ZERO

2007-10-10T02:36:00.001-07:00

Als riesiger OGURI Shun Fan war ich ganz aus dem HÃ¤uschen, als ich neulich den Trailor zum neuen MIIKE-Film Crows Zero gesehen habe. Bei der Geschichte handelt es sich um das Prequel zu einem recht erfolgreichen Manga von TAKAHASHI Hiroshi mit dem Titel Crows.
OGURI Shun spielt als TAKIYA Genji die Hauptrolle. Neben ihm wird auch YAMADA Takayuki dabei sein. Wer YAMADA aus Serien wie Sekai no chuushin de Ai wo sakebu, Byakuyakou und Taiyou no Uta kennt, wird vielleicht etwas Ã¼berrascht sein, ihn nun in einer ganz anderen Rolle zu sehen: Er spielt SERIZAWA Tamao, den AnfÃ¼hrer einer brutalen Schul-Gang. FÃ¼r zart beseitete Seelen ist der Film bestimmt nichts, ist Regisseur MIIKE Takashi doch bekannt fÃ¼r Ã¤uÃerst blutige Filme wie Ichi the Killer oder Audition. Andererseits wÃ¤re der Film kein schlechter Einstieg. Erst vor kurzem habe ich einen Artikel Ã¼ber das neue Ideal des japanischen Mannes gelesen und dabei erfahren: BÃ¶se ist sexy. Genannt wird das Ganze ??????? - das ist eine WortneuschÃ¶pfung aus dem japanischen Wort fÃ¼r "schlecht" und der Bezeichnung fÃ¼r "Coolness".
Der Film wird am 27. Oktober anlaufen. In Japan selbstverstÃ¤ndlich. :-(

(Hilfe, wieso wollen die LJ-Cuts bei mir nicht funtzen? ;_;) Link zur offiziellen Internetseite: www.crows-zero.jp @Tayon: ????????????

softly_sweetly: Fic: 'What Neville Did' 9/10 KS/NL NC17

2007-10-10T02:18:00.001-07:00

Title - What Neville Did
Author -
Beta - Thank you!
Rating - NC17
Word Count - 852
Characters/Pairings - Kingsley/Neville
Warnings - Highlight for warnings *Adult Language, Slash, Voyeurism, Wall!Sex, Frottage*
Disclaimer - I own nothing but the plot lines. I make no money from this, and mean no offence by any scene depicted within this story. All characters depicted in sexual situations herein are above the age of consent.
Summary - Neville and Kingsley make the ultimate commitment to each other â they go into business together
Author's Notes - This fic is told using the prompts from my table, which can be found here Missed the beginning? Go here to play catch up. Prompt 2 â Voyeurism Taking a deep breath, Neville pushed open the door and smiled as he was engulfed in the laughter and voices of his friends. This had been Kingsley's idea â a shop-warming party before they put the stock out and opened up for real. And Neville had to admit, nerves aside, it was a good one. Their shop would be opened on a wave of high spirits, on the memory of their friends and family laughing and chatting, drinking butterbeer and skittles-vodka shots, eating canapÃ©s and sweets. As he moved through the room talking with people he knew, Neville felt his apprehension slide away. He and Kingsley had worked hard for this, and they'd be all right. Everything would be all right, and if he repeated that silent mantra enough, then eventually the last little ball of worry would fade away and Neville would truly be happy. As he was talking to Hermione about her job in the Ministry's law department, he felt strong arms slide around his waist, and watched as Hermione smiled softly and excused herself. As soon as they were stood alone, soft lips found that one spot on his neck that had Neville humming in ecstasy, and attacked it with fervour. He moved his hands to rest over Kingsley's and smiled, enjoying the attention for another minute or so before finally pulling away and turning to face his lover. "Enjoying yourself?" Hazel eyes lit up, and Kingsley nodded softly. "Very much. Even more so with you in my arms." Neville smiled and moved closer to Kingsley, smiling as they began to move to the beat of the music, swaying gently together until they were interrupted by George yelling across the room. "Oi, Nev! Alcohol's getting low!" Shaking his head in exasperation, Neville shook his head and leant up to kiss Kingsley softly. "Better go be a good host. We'll enjoy ourselves when they're all gone, okay?" Kingsley nodded, spanking Neville softly on the arse as his lover walked past him and towards the cellar. ~~~~~~~~~~ Neville had been halfway down the stairs when he remembered that the rest of the alcohol was stored outside. Doubling back on himself, he headed out into the back alley, groping around blindly as his eyes got accustomed to the dark. They really needed to fit a light into the back room, so that when they went out into the alley at night theyâd have some light to see by. As it was, Neville's eyes were slowly adjusting, and he headed to where he remembered the box of alcohol being, stopping dead in his tracks as he heard a familiar voice, hoarse and catching in the still night. "Godsâ¦ fuck, Draco, harder!" The response was a grunt, and Neville put a hand out to the wall to steady himself as he focused on the two vague figures further down the alleyway. The only thing he could make out for sure was the shock of white blonde hair that automatically identified Draco Malfoy, and the whimpers in a voice that was unmistakably Harry Potter. Neville knew he should go back inside, but the thrill of knowing that two people were having sex mere feet from him, blissfully unaware that they were being watched, had him frozen to the spot. He felt a familiar heat in his groin, and bit his lips together so that he didn't make a sound, didnât interrupt the wet, grazing sounds and the pretty little whimpers. He'd always assumed Harry was the top, but from the sound of things the brunette was in fact a glorious little bottom, keening and yelping as Draco stayed strong and silent but for grunts of exertion. If it hadn't been for the hand that clamped over his mouth, Neville would have cried out when he was grabbed from behind, and given himself away to the copulating couple. Instead, his noise was silenced by a familiar hand, a familiar erection digging into his back as Neville was moved back into the shop. When the door was shut, Neville found himself pinned to the wall, Kingsley frotting against him frantically, insinuating a thigh between Neville's and applying just the right amount of pressure. "Dirty little pervert." Neville whimpered and moved to capture Kingsley's lips in a kiss, moving with the older man and yelping into Kingsley's mouth as he came, feeling his lover twitch with orgasm mere moments later. As Neville pulled away to explain himself, he caught sight of George stood smirking in the doorway. "Guess you haven't found the alcohol yet." The irritating Weasley was gone before either Neville or Kingsley could retort, leaving the two of them stood in the back room, blushing faintly. "I wasâ¦ uhâ¦ I didn't mean to." "Shouldnât have sex in alleys if they don't want to be seen. Come on, back to the party." Nodding, Neville followed Kingsley back into the main shop, studiously avoiding George's smirking gaze, and the slightly flushed and chirpy Harry and Draco that rejoined the main room some ten minutes later. Though Neville did file something away for later action â he and Kingsley had yet to christen the alleyway outsideâ¦

jazonwhatever

2007-10-09T21:36:00.001-07:00

I've beeen doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that lately... i dont really know what the this and that are but.. yeah i havent really had a routine life this days.
Ups and Downs. On Friday I forced myself to go out and it turned into alot of fun actually. watched " who then now" and the first family values tour on VHS. so goood. Saturday was fun Danced and was awesome.. so good. PINTS all night. Sunday i was lame... and i watched the Law and Order Criminal Intent Marathon.
and it was awesome. Very awesome. I love Vincent Dinofrio.(sp) Monday.. was girls night.. basically smoked to get high.. hung out..comfy..photoboothed it up..talked..watch an araon carter music video and all the korn music videos.... then it was off to delilahs... saw dan! and hung out with him and michele,kevin and jd. i am really domestic and i love cooking and watching jonathan davis on OnDemand, so yeah if anyone wants me to cook for them during this month of october lets get together. Hopefully you have OnDemand. im going in and out of funks lately.. i feel like i am going back to my helpless days.. boo. Anywho tomorrow i am gonna get to go to the Art Institute..talk about what i love. Then Interview at steve Madden.... i am kinda stressed so if anyone wants to get a beer or two tomorrow night..I'd really like to unwind.I know that sounds lame but whatever.

not_so_brave

2007-10-09T21:10:00.001-07:00

"Midnight Gravedigger"
You were right on the mark when you said,
"Your life's not in place yet"
100 words for snow is my guess,
Took my silence for weakness,
Like an eagle over it's prey,
Too much to stomach for one day,
If you dig up the graves of the past,
you'll have souls roam the earth,
Till dawn,death of self-importance,
It's waiting at the end of each day,
I've had relatives say "the timid will be led astray."
As I was the focal point of their dismay, Battle the insensitive remarks,
Reverse the blinds,so you can see clearly,
Just what lyes beneath the surface. "Your Past Interests"
Brake;
You've got a number for every single lover you've had,
He was ten pages filled with witty poems,
Enough to make you want another try,
Last year you crashed into my lap,we never made it,
I never changed your mind,but you couldn't find me.
Stop;
So suddenly i find my heart in texas;When the other half was home,
Drop the telephone,it's too late for this unsettling moment,
Almost a proposal but i was unfair,He was so tired and tied with strings that binded,it was only right to let go.
Miss;
Found hope in a boy from north carolina didn't care about a thing when we walked together.We acted so attracted to eachother.When we watched the fireworks up on that hill,you told me your deepest secrets,i loved you for that.But with an attitude so strict we left that day with only a few minor conversations.
Kick;
He glowed with some kind of light i will never be able to explain,He was only a picture in a frame,but when we'd talk at a show he made me glow with that light unexplainable. "Two parts are equal"
You sing your lonely song,I only hum half way along,
Till i traced back to how this should leave me happy,
....and it will in time.
Being this bridesmaid and not the bride,
I have so much to learn it could be too late to try,
Somedays it's better,
It's impossible to pinpoint your disadvantage,
It must be that stunning cover up that impresses you,Perhaps the attention i lack,
Either way i'm more than willing to stay,maybe just for today,
This vision gets more distorted with every step,to believe anyone would be right,
Now you're Confusing sex and distance,
It's never gonna set you free,
To understand the other part of love,
That makes us whole.
Two parts are equal,remains true.

godly_pr: Stolen from the girl that thinks I'm her dad...

2007-10-09T20:56:00.001-07:00

E2: The Everything Test 2

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too!
Version 2 is leaner, meaner, and features a more mature and varied set of questions than the previous test. Enjoy!

Character Traits
Analytical	20%
Artistic	43%
Driven	60%
Emotional	0%
Horny	100%
Independent	100%
Musical	67%
Optimistic	0%
Outgoing	0%
Political	89%
Religious	73%
Romantic	100%
Social	50%

Life Experience
Criminality	100%
Intellectual	88%
Relationships	100%
Sexuality	91%
Travel	100%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Liberal, while philosophically you tend to think like a Liberal.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Middle Class. You make more than 95% of those who have taken this test, and 46% more than the U.S. average.

You tend to think more like an artist than an engineer.

Location-wise, you would probably be a good fit for the City.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

*pokes it* It is broken. It says...I'm Romantic...*won't admit he can be* and...not outgoing! *is personally shocked.*

xx_bang

2007-10-09T20:28:00.001-07:00

hadeumdi: Are you game?!

2007-10-09T20:10:00.001-07:00

I love those stupid MySpace ads, I don't know if everyone gets them or if it's just because I have game design under pretty much every category on my page. "Are you game.. to ignite a hot new career?!" Followed by a link to some online game development school. Why yes, I am interested in lighting the game industry on fire. Do tell me how!! I'm also kinda sad that Jack FM (the radio station we always listen to at work) ended their week-long jokes at Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran. I love the station because there is very little talk between songs, and when there is, it's just a snippet from a caller or from the radio voice of "Jack" which always says something witty and never seems to repeat. All of last week, Jack has been utilizing free speech to its fullest with hilarious jabs at the Iranian president reminiscent of the 1970s "who cares what we say" mentality. I LOVE IT. My favourite: "This next bunch of songs is for the homosexuals in Iran. Wait, what? There aren't any?"

your_nonentity: LOL this icon has nothing to do with the actual post.

2007-10-09T19:50:00.001-07:00

Read icon's text. Now, is it weird that the best quote of this season of Top Chef happened in a fucking audition video? Seriously. I am meeting this man in November. I don't care if I don't know where he works, I am fricking meeting this man. (Haha, Liz, to think we both hated him in the beginning of the season. The hell? xD)

Okay. So, before dinner, I was about to make this really whiny post about how everything's happening too fast and how bad of a mood I was in earlier. Normal boy drama, even if I don't like either boy like that. It's just really...awkward and painful when you hear that the last boy you kissed doesn't remember you. I'll get him back soon.

Watched Drawn Together's premiere from last week, as well as a Simpsons episode from forever ago. Neither of them were really funny, but I'm so happy DT's back. I missed my Xandir. Hopefully, this season will be bursting with Hero/Xandir like the past two have. :333

Got back to my email. Find out my gay biffle, Kosoko, is coming to my Homecoming.

I am soooooooo excited for Homecoming now. :DDDD

Well, I guess you guys don't know the story. There is a total of two worthwhile guys at my school. Ben and Diego. I've...dealt with Ben already. Asked him out the last day of art class, got turned down because he didn't want to lose our friendship, I ended up fairly satisfied and was able to get over him like usual. Diego's the foreign exchange student from Brazil that I had the immediate crush on, but now that he's a bit more outgoing, he wants all the girls, not just one. Which, since he's foreign, I think is adorable. It's very similar to how I was with Guzman - think he's hot, kinda like him, but he's too cute to keep to myself. Awkward situation these foreign boys put me in! D:

Anyway, with no other option, I asked my best friend, Sara, and my gay biffle, Kosoko, to homecoming. I've never bought a guest ticket before, and I'm not sure if I can buy more than one, but so far, both can come. I'm sooooo excited. It's gonna be the best homecoming yet. I think we might go with the black and red look - I really wanna wear red for some reason. I'm still deciding on a dress, and I'll put up a poll soon - maybe Thursday. I do have a really cute red and black dress that I might wear. I dunno. Kinda wanna get Sara in a red dress though - girl wears too much black. ><;

So, I'm in a better mood now. :D

Blog wise, I've decided not to do anything TC related until the reunion is done being aired. Makes more sense. Heroes will wait until tomorrow since I'm too exhausted tonight. It was...ridiculous. I mean...this season is just not written as well as I want it to be. This episode proved it. It's lucky for the Hiro-plotline and the Matthinder-plotline, or I'd go insane.

Survivor, Thursday. Not too excited, but I'll decide who to root for by then (Sherry, darling, I miss your comments on Survivor. D: you always leave some of the best comments to my full blogs. Hope you see this. ILU)

About Survivor, Michelle commented me on facebook after I told her how much I missed her on Thursdays.

Hey Lady ; ) Just working and trying to do real life grown-up stuff. ::groans:: At least there's a lot of characters on China for you. Sure, none of them are quite Rockilicious, but there can only be one! Hope school and all that is going well. Best!

She used 'Rockalicious' in a comment to me.
Why is she the best?
OMG.

Tomorrow, I'll sort things out with Robert while I'm at band practice. TC3 reunion better be good. I'm either sleeping in Physics or working on NaNoWriMo stuff in Physics. Depends on the mood.

Anyway, I have to retire. I have no good pictures today, sadly, but you are welcome to leave me loveeee. <333

jackiesjunkie

2007-10-09T19:28:00.001-07:00

snagged from 1 - Look up TEN of your favorite movies on IMDB.
2 - Click the "trivia" link in the sidebar.
3 - Post a fun and random bit of trivia from each film.
Dracula 2000: In the scene where Lucy (Colleen Fitzpatrick a.k.a. singer "Vitamin C") is talking to Mary in the record store, she is standing right in front of a shelf that has her CD on it. Braveheart: Glen Nevis, the Scottish valley which served as the location for Wallace's childhood village, also enjoys the heaviest rainfall in Europe. During the six weeks spent filming in the area, only three days of sunshine occurred, during which the wedding scene was finished. The filmmakers resigned themselves to the fact that constant rain was inevitable, and opted to film scenes regardless of weather conditions. Breakfast at Tiffany's: Elements of Holly's character in the original novel, such as her flirtation with bisexuality, were omitted to make the part more suitable for Audrey Hepburn. Phantom of the Opera: The doll in the Phantom's lair that is supposed to resemble Emmy Rossum is not actually a wax mold. It is Emmy Rossum. The production produced a mask of her face to use on the mannequin but when they put in the fake eyes it didn't look like her. She suggested to stand in as the mannequin instead. This was done by her being made up like a doll with waxy makeup on, and her standing very, very still. Dear Frankie: Jack McElhone (Frankie) is not deaf but worked with a speech coach so that his one spoken line would sound correct. West Side Story: When filming "The Taunting Scene", Rita Moreno was reduced to tears when she was harassed and nearly raped by the Jets, as it brought back memories of when she was raped as a child. When she started crying, the Jets immediately stopped what they were doing and tried to comfort her, while pointing out that the audience was going to hate them for what they were doing. Ben Hur: Charlton Heston was taught to drive a chariot by the stunt crew, who offered to teach the entire cast. Heston was the only one who took them up on the offer. At the beginning of the chariot race, Heston shook the reins and nothing happened; the horses remained motionless. Finally someone way up on top of the set yelled, "Giddy-up!" The horses then roared into action, and Heston was flung backward off of the chariot. It's a Wonderful Life: As Uncle Billy is leaving George's house drunk, it sounds as if he stumbles over some trash cans on the sidewalk. In fact, a crew member dropped some equipment right after Uncle Billy left the screen. Both actors continued with the scene ("I'm all right, I'm all right!") and director Frank Capra decided to use it in the final cut. He gave the clumsy stagehand a $10 bonus for "improving the sound." Brigadoon: The Breen office wouldn't allow the use of the two songs the Meg Brockie character sang in the stage version, "The Love of My Life" and "My Mother's Wedding Day" as the lyrics were too risquÃ©.

lughtaj

2007-10-09T19:14:00.001-07:00

These are the top 106 books most often marked as "unread" by LibraryThing's users (as of 30 September 2007). As usual, bold what you have read, italicise what you started but couldn't finish, and strike through what you couldn't stand. Add an asterisk to those you've read more than once. Underline those on your to-read list.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion*
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey*
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the Fates of Human Societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
~~Atlas Shrugged~~
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault's Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D'Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver's Travels*
Les MisÃ©rables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela's Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People's History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an Inquiry into Values
The Aeneid
Watership Down*
Gravity's Rainbow
The Hobbit*
In Cold Blood : A True Account of a Multiple Murder and Its Consequences
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers
Bastard out of Carolina

lydia_diane

2007-10-09T18:52:00.001-07:00

*dances*
I finally went clothes shopping! I am now sitting here wearing the most comfortable pair of sweat pants EVER. Seriously. When I tried them on, I didn't want to take them off. They're from Old Navy. I might have to go back. I went to the mall right after my last class today. I took the bus straight there and walked around for about 3 hours. I had a goal in mind of what I needed to buy because if I just go to the mall, either I buy nothing, or I buy stuff I have absolutely NO need for.
Not the case for tonight! Let's see... where are all my bags from...
Haha, my bags remind me of those Russian babushka (sp?) dolls, the ones that fit inside each other. There's the smallest bag from Steve & Barry's where I bought a cute tank from. Then there's the next one from Old Navy where I bought two more tanks, a sweater thing that was super comfortable (and on sale!), and these awesome dark blue sweats with stripes on the sides. The biggest bag is from Lady Foot Locker where I bought another tank and two pairs of running shorts. My very last bag is actually not the biggest, but it fit in there anyways. I went to Victoria's Secret and spent nearly $50. And everyone knows what you buy at VS. So no need to go into that. :P And it ALL went onto my credit card. :O No more of this "shopping" thing. I almost wish for the old days when Jenny and Leila would yell at me because I would never ever buy anything at the mall. :/ Nothing much of anything else is going on. I'm starting to have doubts about me and the "potential" (as Vanializ called him, which is actually quite appropriate). I'm wondering if we're approaching the dreaded "friend zone", the point of no return, so to speak. I don't know what to do. I have another Statistics test on Tuesday. AND a CT paper due. Normally, I would be more worried about the paper than the test. But this paper should be a cinch compared to this test. Help, anyone? -cries-
Taken from someone's MySpace bulletin.
Can you name 10 people?
DO NOT READ THE WHOLE BULLETIN!!! JUST QUICKLY COPY AND PASTE.... DON'T SPOIL IT.
Now, name 10 people you can think of right off the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 10 people. This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first... NO CHEATING! --
1. Jenny
2. Kate
3. Patrick
4. Blake
5. Yoshi
6. Vanializ
7. Leila
8. Arielle
9. Sarah T.
10. Jacob
-- DON'T LOOK AHEAD UNLESS U FILLED UP THE TOP!! 1. How did you meet #3? We had 6th grade band together. Our sections sat next to each other. 2. What would you do if #2 and #6 were going out? I would be amazed, but I don't think they ever would. 3. How long have you known #8? Since fall of 06. 4. What do you think of #7? She's amazing, and I hope she's getting better. 5. What would you do if #4 confessed they loved you? I would be stunned, but would have to be like, "How?!" 6. A fact about #6: She lives in Holly. 7. Who's #5 going out with? I think he's single right now. 8. What does #1 do for a living? She's a full-time student, and works for a psych lab. 9. Would you live with #3? Next door to him. Not actually with him. 10. Where does #10 live? Somewhere around UF. 11. What do you like about # 1? She forgave me for being a complete a$$hole. 12. Does #2 like to dance? Yes! And she's pretty good too. 13. Do you miss #10? Not really... not anymore. 14. What is your opinion of #9? She's got a good head on her shoulders. She knows what she's doing and she's got a plan for her future. 15. Would you ever get drunk with #2? I already have, and I'd do it again. 16. What would you do if #1 and #5 were going out? Well, #1 is in a great relationship, and #5 is gay. BUT if they did... it would be interesting. 17. Ever gone somewhere with #10? Yes. We went to Tennessee with our church once. 18. Would you ever go out with #6? Sorry, but no. I'm not interested in girls. :P 19. Have you ever slep over at #1's house? Yes. 20. Have you ever slept with #8? No. And I never will. 21. Does #2 smell good? Sure? She never smells bad. :P 22. Does #9 play a sport? She's good at volleyball. 23. Have you ever dated #4? No... not yet. ;) 24. When was the last time you talked to #3? Saturday. 25. Have you ever partied with #7? Hahaha, absolutely. Most insane party I've ever been to.

lollirot_xx: my letter to him

2007-10-09T18:40:00.001-07:00

I know I accuse you of doing wrong
But there's so much guilt I hold in my heart
that I can't bear to hold onto anymore.
I lied a lot, I even went as far as laughing when I knew I was hurting you.
Back in February you let go,
then when you wanted me back I just relaxed and did whatever I wanted.
the truth is, the nights in march i spent with mike meant a lot to me, I definitely
fell in love with him a little bit. I never would have admitted this
But me and him actually did have sex.
Strike one.
Even before that, we were together.
The way I really found out I was addicted to sex was simple;
I'd take whatever I could get.
A married man, a best friend, even a boy I only knew for two weeks
Strike two.
You called me and left me a voicemail
it sounded like you just got done throwing up because I
put you through so much shit.
I decided to take you back,
maybe it'd be different.
then I ended up getting fingered by someone I in the end hated
I didn't even like it!
Strike Three.
Now, here I am. I can't get you out of my head.
you're smile haunts me
i over analyze things you told me
that may have hidden messages
i give you regret and guilt for things that happened
years ago. i get mad for you doing things behind my back
the only time you wanted to tell me, i didn't freak.
i just told the bitch i'd cut her.
any other time when I should have sucked it up
I tried to die,
I wanted nothing more than to slit my own throat instead of hers.
"I thought you loved me"
I can still hear my own fucking voice screaming it.
Strike Four.
I'm out of ways to get you back:
I've tried sweet-talking,
sex,
bragging about new found lovers,
nothing works.
Its finally coming to my attention
you're ready to move on
and leave me behind.
I just wish i didn't have to feel so shitty.

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

riles298: today is feeling stressful

2007-10-09T18:30:00.001-07:00

I'm tired of teachers who assume they know the question you're asking, and cut you off in the middle to answer completely the wrong question, so that one of your classmates who knew exactly what you were trying to say has to rephrase and re-ask your question. I had such a hard time articulating thoughts today. The corn maze with Kati, Aaron, Katie, Bouse and Maggie was fun. I especially liked when Bouse pointed out that it was a maize maze, and when the little girl thought that Katie was a potential friend. I'm tired of people answering humanities questions with their religion rather than actually considering it. _{(Just because you believe that partaking of the apple was sinful doesn't mean that you wouldn't do it. Just because "God" told you to. Guess what? Judaism takes that same text and thinks that Eve did good and brought wisdom upon the world. And you know what? It's not like you're reading a different version. It's just that you're a closed-minded person.)} I like: When people have already read the book I'm re-reading, and take time out of their day to discuss with me how much we enjoyed it. Listening to NPR in the morning. The fluid motion of a phone flipping open in my hand. The brief sting of waxing. When adults remember my name. Taking notes in notebooks, but not on loose paper. Waking up to my school alarm on weekends, turning it off, and going back to sleep. Walking in time to music, especially in heels. When the wind blows in the same direction that my hair is parted. The smell of cold air too early in the morning. Doodles as gifts. People who quit smoking. Knowing that I did a better job when I didn't have to. Trashy music with a good beat and a better hook. Having conversations about things that stress me with people who suffer the same stressors. Walking into the completely random parts of other people's lives. Sledding in jeans. Puddle jumping with serendipitous strangers. Being so distracted by conversation that you miss the sunset in front of you. Corn mazes and pumpkin patches and stepping on crunchy leaves. Perforated pages. Blank postcards. You. I don't like: People who confuse religion and faith. My inability to keep everything separated in my head. Clocks and the concept of time in general. People who walk around with their mouths open. Teachers who assume that you don't understand them and repeat themselves. Forgetting appointments. Having to convince people that I actually need a breast reduction, because I "don't look that big." Hair on pretty much everywhere but the head. The self-fulfilling prophecy that is the American educational system, when compared with, for instance, the Japanese. People who homeschool their children to keep them from supposedly negative influences. Required reading. Top 40 songs with improper grammar. My chest. Flared jeans. Shopping at Kroger, Walmart and Meijer.

cathalin: Halloween

2007-10-09T18:09:00.001-07:00

Halloween By Cathalin
Rating: G/PG?
Disclaimer: I donât own them. I write out of love of these characters.
Thanks: My awesome betas Judy_Blue_Cat and Melisande431
Note: Just a little piece that insisted on being written. Warnings: Not really, but set during canon times and angstier than what I usually write. Still, thereâs a measure of joy here as well. Not deadJack. Let me know if you need to know more before reading. Halloween The air is crisp, laden with the scent of snow in the making. Juniorâs mittened hand clasps his tightly, breathing life into his fingers, up his arm, into his heart. It reminds him of another hand that breathed warmth into him, showed him new places inside himself. âDaddy,â she says, pulling gently. Ennis shakes his head, smiles at his daughter. Her cat ears have fallen a little to one side, and he disentangles their hands, straightens the headband. âRight as rain now,â he says, and she smiles one of those radiant smiles that twist his heart. âGo on,â he says, and she skips trustingly up the path to the Smithsâ place. There arenât many places to trick-or-treat here in Riverton, but itâs a damn sight better than how he grew up; heâd never put on a costume or rung a doorbell in his life. A silly notion flits into his head, and he fights it. He knows from experience itâs hopeless, though. What it would be like, him and Jack, somehow having kids of their own â a little girl with Jackâs eyes, a boy with his. Junior herself, because of course he wants her, but somehow â somehow theirs. Nausea churns in his gut at the wrongness of his thoughts, like it always does. An urge to hit someone, kick something, rises strong, almost overwhelming him. He pants in the cold air, hunched over, hands on his knees, fighting it all. âDaddy?â Juniorâs voice is shaky, worried. He gasps in a breath, forces his voice out steady. âFine,â he rasps. âJust need a minute.â She waits in silence, well used to her daddyâs odd ways. He straightens after a bit, looks down at her trusting eyes. âGot a Milky Way,â she says. âYou wanna share?â A hot burst of love for this little girl twists through him, and he kneels down right there, on the frigid town sidewalk, takes her in his arms. âDarlinâ,â he says into her hair. âCainât think of nothinâ better.â Her arms come around him then, pulling him to her with all of her little girl strength. After a bit, they separate, and she splits the candy bar in two, right there in the freezing night. He can give this to her, at least, the silliness of a grown man eating a candy bar on a sidewalk on Halloween night, though he canât give her his whole heart, like a man should. The chocolate and caramel hit his tongue hard, and the longing rises again, stronger this time. Jack. He knows Jack wants it, wants them together, always has. Itâs Ennis as hasnât been able to even admit it. He canât do it, he wonât, not never, but maybe - . He cuts his thought off, stands up, takes Juniorâs hand again. âLetâs get some more,â he rasps out, and she giggles. âGet you so much candy youâll be eatinâ it for days.â Junior laughs, delighted, and they do, visiting every house they can, not coming back till most of the jack-o-lanterns have gone dark. Alma is waiting, a sour twist to her mouth. âTook you long enough,â she says. âFinally got Francie down a few minutes ago.â Ennis just grunts, helps Junior spread out her loot, lets her stay up till her head is drooping. Almaâs gone to bed a long time ago, and the house is finally quiet. He looks in on Junior, sees the spread of her hair on her pillow, the cat ears held fast in her hand. He shrugs on his jacket, slips out the door, not letting himself think. The pay phone on the corner is a block of ice in his hand, but he punches in the number, keeping his brain carefully blank. It wonât work, itâll be her, his wife, or theyâll be gone to some fancy party, or â . âHello?â Jackâs voice, irritated, roots him to the ground, speechless, panicked. What the hell was he thinking? âThe fuck? Who is this?â Ennisâs hand is reaching to hang up when Juniorâs face swims into his mind, twisting something open in his heart. âI â .â The word is out before he can stop it, and then thereâs silence on the other end for a breath or two. âEnnis?â Jack is whispering now. âThat you?â Ennis curls around the phone like itâs a living thing. âI â .â God damn it, heâs acting like some girl himself. What the hell was he thinking? âHold on, Iâm switching phones,â Jack says. Ennis does hold on, rooted to the spot, desperately trying to think of what to say about why heâs calling. Jack comes back on, and Ennis blurts, âTook Junior trick-or-treating.â Damn, he hadnât meant to say anything about that. Thereâs silence on the other end, then Jack says, âI took Bobby, too. First time he was old enough. Fun to see. He was a fireman, gotta love that.â Thereâs more silence for a few seconds, and Ennis shifts from foot to foot, watching his breath trace patterns of fog inside the phone booth. For a while it seems like itâs going to be left like that. But Jack has always known what Ennis means, and Jack speaks again, voice lower. âThought about - .â He trails off, and Ennis knows, he knows that Jack thought about it, too. Some strong feeling grabs Ennisâs throat, tightens it with longing. âI wish - .â The words are out, almost whispered, before he can stop them, and heâs more afraid than heâs ever been, but some part of him is glad, fiercely glad, that finally, heâs said them. Jack huffs out a breath of air on the other end of the line, and Ennis can imagine his face right now, how his eyes would soften. âMe, too,â Jack breathes, voice clogged. âI gotta go.â Ennisâs voice is suspiciously thick, and for once he doesnât care if Jack knows. âHappy Halloween,â Jack says, voice a little bitter, a little happy. âLike to meet your kid one day,â Ennis says, flinching as the words come out, unbidden and impossible to erase. Now the silence is laden, and Ennis feels sick. Why didnât he shut up and hang up? The note of wonder in Jackâs voice, when he finally talks, is worth it, though. âIâd like that, too. See them brown eyes of yours in - .â Jack cuts himself off, clears his throat. Ennis canât say more, he wonât, but maybe Jack gets it, probably he does. âYeah,â he says, âyeah.â He lets himself back into the apartment silently, spares one more look at Junior, letting himself think the forbidden thoughts one more time before putting them away, locking them up. Jackâs kids would have dark hair, sparkling eyes, would have smiles fit to call out the sun on a storm-cloud day. He smoothes Juniorâs hair and she curls into his hand, just like Jack curls into Ennis in his sleep, when heâs not on guard. Just for tonight, when he lies down next to Alma, he thinks of the children him and Jack could raise, in a different world, in a different time, somehow â that part is vague - part of each of them. Riding free in the Wyoming wind, laughing and tussling, secure in the knowledge their parents - . He sighs, hearing Almaâs soft breathing next to him. Itâll be embarrassing, seeing Jack next month, having told him a little of his thoughts, having let him know a little of his longings. Embarrassing, but also â also a fine thing. Jack deserves it, knowing what Ennis thinks on, late at night, or with his girls. Warming, and freeing, like shedding a costume, a costume the world makes you put on. He doesnât give Jack much to go on, he knows that, but somehow Jack knows his secrets anyway, most of the time. Jack wonât talk about it â he knows Ennis too well â neither of them will ever talk about it â but itâll be there, under it all, something neither of them will forget. As he falls asleep, he lets himself go there one more time, knowing that in the morning, heâll put it all away. Maybe tomorrow heâll pick a fight in a bar, find someone to hit, to ease the shame of having such thoughts. But tonight â heâll carve a pumpkin with Jack, their somehow children, kids with his hair, Jackâs grin . . . . He falls asleep smiling, ignoring the burn in his eyes and the wetness on his lashes. The End

foxiefyre: Life Lesson

2007-10-09T17:45:00.001-07:00

Within this post you will find a lesson I had to learn the hard way and a fantsy that would have never worked out.

May 10th, 2007 11:06am Manic Happiness...

Well.. I actually feel happy. I realized on my drive home yesterday that I have felt this way for the past month despite everything that has gone on.

I decided that me going to Indiana was not what I should be doing. I found myself lost in this fantasy world all the time, I would find myself nearly driving off the road or unable to concentrate at work... I took a few days off from talking on the phone for 3-5 hrs plus two nights in a row and realized a lot of things. First off I felt pressured to say I Love you, I was being made to make promises I didn't feel comfortable making, I felt pressure for sex, I felt I was making a lot of the effort ie having to call him all the time (he even sat up one night wanting to talk to me and he didn't have to balls to call me even though he could have), I felt I was lectured a lot for the ways I was feeling. Also I know no one can fix me besides me!

I broke Mike's heart with my decision.. and well seems we never even were friends because he wont even be my friend now! WTF! Seriously act your age not your shoe size! Also I found out he had been dating after telling me I shouldn't that some offers had come up but he had declined.. Well I find this all to be some crazy shit since I got the line of "you were suppose to be the one." I feel that if I was suppose to be the one he would have fought harder.. or said hey lets take a few steps back and be friends, please still come out here so we can meet but lets just leave it as friends for now so we can see if we have chemistry. Oh fucking well.. I wasted a shit load of my time and well a good chunck of money due to me running up my phone bill.

Despite all of this I am in good spirits. I have booked a trip to Oregon right after my birthday to go see my best friend! Oh gawd I cannot wait! This is what my soul needs! Oh and I am enjoying living in reality again. I have also started to go out more or at least hang out at Keith's house. Went to the movies and saw Hot Fuzz laughed my ass off! I have also started to take a small walk in the morning.. Kinda nice to greet the day..

Current Mood: content

April 7th, 2007 11:0am Blissful...

As usual it has been sometime since I have written here.. so much has happened I find it a bit hard where to begin to describe everything going on in this Geminiâs head and heart.

Well I am goin to INDIANA.. yes I am going to do it April 26-29.. Because it is something I feel I have to do.. I have to make it all truly "real". I know what I feel is something special and well having a fantasy is awesome but having something to touch and feel and look at is just one of the many things I need from a relationship... Wow, I actually kinda admitted it.. yet at the same time I want to take it slow and enjoy all of it and not make the same mistakes I seem to make time and time again when getting involved with a man. Mike has no fear of rushing.. but I do.. I really want to know what love is and not blindly say that word to look back years later and feel that there was a connection but was it lust or love? I feel like I have found an equal. He is not scared to meet me head on and has even helped to be a fire under my ass from thousands of miles away. If someone had pulled me aside one day and told me I would find someone I would become extremely emotionally attached to in WoW I would have looked at them and laughed.. However, it seems almost anything is possible.

My connection with Mike seems to only grow. He makes my heart flutter in a most indescribable, blissful, peaceful wayâ¦ I could get addicted to. Or am I already addicted?.. /sigh Would seem so even though I will reluctantly admit it.

Is this really what love feels like? Love in its purest form?

I really feel blessed and loved by my friends, Mike included. I also feel like I am really finding me again. Which is weird, I feel like I have awoken from some strange dream that I was trapped in.. and I am actually feeling happy. Happy to be alive, to enjoy the sun, my family, my friends, and life. I feel like I need to become more goal orientated because that is something I have never really done my whole life. I have just kinda lived as best I can, taking in life as it comes. Trying not to worry even though I am Gemini and ALWAYS worry about EVERYTHING. lol.. I know I have many demons inside to combat but I have a feeling I can do it, even if I have to lean on others to accomplish healing me. Rediscovering me is a challenge I thought would be tougher than it has beenâ¦ I look forward to this journey.

My job seems to have its ups and downs, but I really do love it. I am scared of my evaluation because it asks questions about goals and where I see me in the future.. I have never really had plans like this, due to the only thing constant in life is change. I guess it is to gauge where my strengths, weaknesses, things to improve on and a pay raise. So I believe it is actually a good thing and if nothing else will be a learning experience. I have a good feeling it will all be ok so I am trying not to stress over it at all. It is something out of my control so why stress out over itâ¦ even though I know I probably will but at the moment I do my best to set it aside.

Current Location: Diamond Springs, CA
Current Mood: indescribable

March 23rd, 2007 856am Feeling the Ache of Another...

Yes I can feel Michaelâs hurt. I feel the ache he carries soo deep in his heart, as if it were my own to bare. He was in my dreams last night. Left a bittersweet taste in my mouth.. The ache has gotten stronger, I donât know if that is because he is hurting more as each day passes or if it is me hurting more or the combination of both of us?

I have a feeling Mike is avoiding me; ah we are so very much alike it often scares the crap out of me. If it is space he needs then I will be understanding and give it to him. I feel as if I am being punished, which in some senses I am due to not being able to express myself properly or maybe it is because you can take things the wrong way when people type to you? Could also be the fact that we donât get all the phone time we want with each other. I can speculate all day and still not know.

I long to call him and hear his voice but I do not want to over step any boundaries, deep within I can feel he just needs space and time to figure out if I am someone he truly wants to be close to. I feared this would happen.. I have a way of closing myself off from people I am the closest to. Marria and Jessie have experienced this on many occasions, and we all have been friends for like 11 or 12 years now.

I think I have finally truly forgiven Tanya. It has been 5 years since we last spoke and for the past few days we have been messaging each other. I never thought we would ever talk again. Funny how time changes things and makes you forget the bad times. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I have missed her terribly all these years and from what I gather she has missed me too. The irony of not knowing what you have until it is gone. Things are taken for granted too easily. Taking baby steps to rebuild what we once had.

I still feel lost. I mean not as much as I did because for once I feel strong still even when I feel a bit weak. I feel like I am discovering who I am again and well trying not to be afraid to do things alone. Has been somewhat of a nice challenge but I know I have so much more to work on.

I miss you Mike and I hope you are doing ok; I am still sending you strength even if you donât want it from me. Hope you have a magnificent day and groovy weekend.

Current Mood: hopeful

March 22nd, 2007 5:40pm Going crazy

FUCK! Sums it up pretty nice.. Plus I get some relief for saying that would loud.. LOL FUCK!

Ok... so here goes.. I am going nuts inside and I have injured Mike with my maddness.. Which doesn't suprise me, this was one of the things I feared. I seem to leap before I look, or speak before I talk. I can feel him hurting as I type this.. In fact I have felt his hurt all last night and all today. Been trying to send him strength to help him feel better but I feel like he has kinda closed off from me. I don't blame him, I blame me.

Till another time..

D

Current Mood: crazy

March 12th, 2007 2:52pm Enduring...

Braving this storm as best as I can. Everything seems hard atm.. Donât know why. Maybe it is because I am still not feeling all that great and I am pretending that I am because I have to pay my bills.

Work is very SLOWâ¦ Scares the crap out of me because things have not picked up like we thought they would. I wonder if I need to start looking for another job. I want to keep this one but if I am not at least getting 35-40 hrs a week I canât survive. I often wonder how the fuck I am suppose to make it in this world.. Gas is now $3.09 for the cheapest and like $3.12 for the grade I buy. But I couldnât bring myself to buy the middle grade so I went with the cheap shit. Poor car.. How I need to buy a new one.

My mom has informed me via email that I will not be getting my student loans paid off any time soon. My heart sank, but somehow I brushed it off. I wanted to cry and scream, but all I could do was go âoh well, I didnât have the money anywaysâ. Guess the $10,000 I shouldnât count on either, so many dreams I had for that money, all crushed till another time.

I am longing for Mike terriblyâ¦ Watching 300 didnât help that desire one bit. My dreams plague me with a physical contact that is not reachable at this point in time and lets just say I WANT IT BADâ¦ He finds it a little amusing because he hasnât had any in a while. I call it torture. Batteries FTW!

Jay and I finally kinda talked. We are planning to move from where we are by 5/19/07 to a 2 bedroom, I cant seem to find a 2 bath.. but oh well. A door that closes as my own will be worth all the crap I have been through. Donno how long it will work out but it is a step towards something better. Now we just need to talk about how to work as a team to keep the house running. I also need to stop saying things like âIf it doesnât get done it is okâ because that enables him to do nothing..

I am lost.. kinda finding myself.. but I still feel lost.. I miss Mike.. What I wouldnât do just to see him for an hrâ¦ What I wouldnât do for his touch and a mouth kiss.

Current Location: Work
Current Music: Energy 92.7 FM
Current Mood: worried

March 1st, 2007 10:27am Some Inner Peace...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... I feel like I will burst before I can get anything out!

Well it seems some invisible force propels Mike and myself together... because he couldn't stay away either, which was a shock because I figured he had packed up and bailed. I think he was more attached then he could have ever imagined, as am I.

After a tearful conversation on Tuesday I know I have not.. That we both ached in the same way, seems we can sense how the other feels thousands of miles away.. I only had this connection one other time in my life and that man abused it in every way he couldâ¦ I hope this connection gets to grow and blossom. Seems Mike is in my head at all times. Doesnât matter what I am doing I find myself in the depths of my mind with Mike. I donât 100% understand any of these feelings. Am I suppose to? I am going to say NO! I am just suppose to enjoy them, nurture them, and see what happens good or bad.

I donât fear not being able to pay rent or where I will live because I NEED TO BE HAPPY! At all costs, I will figure out what to do when that time comes. No use freaking out now over things I have no control over. Seems I am a strong person after all.

Current Location: Work
Current Music: Energy 92.7 FM
Current Mood: accomplished

February 26th, 2007 1:08am Missing Mike...

The ache gets worse by the day. I long for his words and the sound of his voice, yet I know I will not ever have that comfort again. It really is killing me inside, but what did I expect? That someone so wonderful and understanding as he would wait around for me to pull my head out of my ass? I thought it might be possible till the want for more arised, a want that I am unable to fufill. I miss Mike so muh.. I still cry when I am alone. He is on my mind almost every hour of every day.. and he is popping up in my dreams! I never thought I was this attached.. but I truly am..

I talked to Marria on Friday.. She comforted me, made me realize even more how much I really miss that woman. She told me I need to leave Jay and break this cycle we have. That I have to change the norm or I will be stuck and unhappy for the rest of my life. She reminded me how strong I am ... how strong I have always been... and that I need to keep telling myself "I am a STRONG person", even when I don't feel strong. She has really grown up to be one of the most amazing people in my life. She made me realize too.. that I need to do this for me not anyone else. That Dani needs this..

I am bored with Jay again. He is annoying me with his cuteness. It never ceases to amaze me how hard he keeps trying to keep me even though I am severly unhappy. I don't understand why he clings so to me. I dislike being someone's everything.. I lose myself and end up where I am no.. LOST, CONFUSED, and wanting to RUN AWAY. I pray he gets a new job so we can get a 2 bed room... then I think I can pull away and begin to heal..

Life seems to get more confusing as I get older. I often wonder if it will be like this forever...

I MSS YOU MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Current Location: Work
Current Music: Energy 92.7 FM
Current Mood: depressed

February 09:43 am Numbness...

The effects of my decision will be carried with me for days, weeks, possibly months. I logged on to vent to find Mike there and all I could do was log off. Jay doesn't know the convo Mike and I had so he doesn't know the ache I feel soo deep in my heart. I don't think he could possibly understand and then it would fuel the hate he already has for Mike... Jay asked me the other day y it had to be Mike not Keith.. and I said y? He said because he didn't know Kieth and he valued Mike's friendship.

Yet it is part Jay's fault that I go soul searching for others. Sometimes I wonder if he ever questions himself on why he can't make me happy. He is very manic right now and suffocating me terribly and he doesn't even notice. I just want to cry and scream and make this internal pain go away. Emotional/heart pain is more than I can handle on top of my body pain.

I miss Mike oh soo very much.. but I just don't have it in me to try to talk to him.. because he is suffering and probably feels like he has wasted his time. The dreams I had with him were wonderful.. I could picture us listening to the radio and singing to each other.. Cuddled up on the couch watching Farscape.. Picknics... kisses.. hand holding.. dancing.. fun... all the things I long for. All the things he made me realize I was missing.. All the things now in my saddness I know I am missing. Mike if you only knew how sorry I am.. and how I cry everyday when I am alone. I miss you!

Feeling soo along.. I think I need to call Marria in a bit. God I miss Jesse too. I have to find a way to be closer to both of them. The distance between us is too great and we all miss soo much in our lives because we all live in a different state. Sleep is no comfort either.. it is what I do to escape my body pain but I don't feel rested anymore. I hope my massage helps me.. Next step will be accupunture. Have to do something due to thoughts of killing myself are surfacing after 6 years of living without them.

Learning how to save myself is going to be my biggest challenge.. a side from figuring out where I want to be.

Current Location: Work
Current Music: Energy 92.7 FM http://www.kngy.com/index_up.html
Current Mood: crushed

February 22nd, 2007

03:15pm Trapped in Thought....

"You made your bed, now go sleep in it while I slowly die inside every night."

Rings through my ears as if it was said straight to my face. I have cried off and on all day for hours now.. I feel lost and even more numb than before, however, the only person I have to blame is myself. I am a stupid girl. Stupid for doing this again to Jay.. and Stupid for doing this to myself AGAIN.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I hurt me all the time? Sad thing is I don't mean to. The Gemini in me likes to dream and when I feel suffocated I do soul searching. Plus the past still haunts me.. I donno..

The part that is the hardest for me is I feel that I have no one to talk to. The more ppl I tell about this the more I feel I am a terrible person.

Current Location: Work
Current Music: KFOG
Current Mood: blank

2/22/07 09:25 am Good or Bad Choices?

So I was right.. I have lost the person that was the closest to me..

"You have a funny way of showing someone you care for them. And if that' what you think, then you didn't know me at all. You made your bed, now go sleep in it while I slowly die inside every night."

I got my fuck off. It is bittersweet and surreal.. I find myself lost within my head trying to understand everything I feel.

I have learned:
I never want to have feelings for 2 men ever again.
I am weak, no matter how strong I want to be.
I allow myself to be controlled so I keep my roof over my head.
I am still unhappy.

Then why can't I just let go and leave Jay? Why do I cling to somthing that tries soo hard to make me happy, but never truly does. Is it because I love him? Is it because he is familiar? I dont know.. and I dont even know if I will ever know. I feel like I am still dying inside. His pattern of saying he is going to do something and not doing it is showing it's ugly face again.. Just like Mike said it would. But how can I just leave Jay after 4 years for some man that doesn't really even know me and that I barely know myself?

The sad thing is there is no one that can save me.. I have to learn to save myself.

Current Mood: numb

2/21/07 04:03 pm tate of Confusion...

A lot has happened in the last month. I broke up with Jay due to not knowing what I want and our relationship not improving.. I also have feelings for someone I have never met, which complicates everything in my head because I donât know what I really want other than to learn how to make myself happy.

I spoke with Mike last night and let him know how I was feeling and that I didnât know if I was going to get back together with Jay or not. But that it was looking like I just might. He is devastated and hurt. To which I blame myself because I donât know what I want.

I think Mike is now going to forget about me. Brush me aside and just leave me for the wolves. I understand his pain and frustration. This man has been my shoulder to cry on for months and I think in the back of his mind he hoped we would be together.. so I could heal and find out what love really is. But, I havenât heard a peep from him today and he usually logs on gmail to chat.. but not today.

I feel sooo lost.. Jay has changed but it seems like no matter what he does it is just never good enough for meâ¦

I just want to be alone sometimes.. but I know that is not possible..

Current Location: St Helena
Current Music: Energy 92.7 FM
Current Mood: blah

hoomygoth

2007-10-09T17:22:00.001-07:00

Ayer, como no tenÃa nada mejor que hacer a las 5 de la maÃ±ana, me puse a ver los dos capis de Avatar que se me han bajado (el pando odia a los demÃ¡s capis y se niega a bajarlos). He de decir que me gustaron. SoltÃ© alguna risita. Pero hombre... no dejan de ser dibujos de nickelodeon xDD spoilers espoileantes: Para empezar... Zuko es sexy o quÃ©? Aunque es un poco tontÃ¡ que siendo maestro del fuego se haya quemado media cara, pero oish, chica, quÃ© polvazo. Y es el Ãºnico que no va a la guarderÃa. je. Luego... Aang es como meeeh durante capi y medio. Pero de repente se cae al agua y, como ha dicho : osti. se pone fosforito y de repente levanta un tsunami que se les quedan las patas vueltas a todos. Los hermanos... la tÃa es un poco petarda. Y el tÃo... tambiÃ©n. Demasiado niÃ±os. Pero Ã©l es mono xD. La tÃa no. La tÃa es una petarda. En general es todo un poco demasiado infantil. O demasiado manga. Cuando ponen caras es como... no sÃ©, me cansa. Es que ver a Zuko, todo classy, y de repente le cae el boomerang encima en pone cara de lerdo... tÃo. Que es un prÃncipe malvado, no le hagÃ¡is esto. Y no han explicado por quÃ© atacan los del fuego. ContextualizaciÃ³n, plz? QuÃ© ha pasado con el mundo? Background??? Pero... me estoy bajando mÃ¡s. En dual, para poder oÃr a Dante Basco hacer de Zuko. Ãam.

canonind: porcariadedia

2007-10-09T16:58:00.001-07:00

Quando eu cheguei no colÃ©gio, hoje de manhÃ£, a mÃ£e fez uma piada engraÃ§ada quando viu o Pedro entrando pela portaria. EntÃ£o jÃ¡ comecei meu dia rindo, o que Ã© raro. Nada de interessante na aula, pra variar. Quando terminou dei graÃ§as, mas nÃ£o pude ir pra casa, tinha que ficar pra fazer o trabalho de filosofia (o qual, caso vocÃªs tenham esquecido, o Pedro Ã© o professor). A mÃ£e levou eu e a mari lÃ¡ no Gelson, a gente comeu, nos preparamos pra voltar pro colÃ©gio naquele sol desgraÃ§ado quando saÃmos do Gelson e vimos o carro da mÃ£e, ela tinha acabado de almoÃ§ar tambÃ©m. Nos deu outra carona pro colÃ©gio, maravilha, dia de sorte. Chegamos lÃ¡ tinham alguns do grupo, e a gente conversou. Bom, pra resumir, eu sei a vida sexual duma criatura que atÃ© hoje nunca tinha falado comigo, e que, haha, nÃ£o deve nem saber meu nome. Vieram com uma nada a ver do tipo "tu tÃ¡ de mal com ele, mas pode rir da piada", AHN? TÃ´ de mal com quem que eu nem tava sabendo? Que piada? AlguÃ©m contou uma piada? Gente esquisita! AgÃ¼entei um monte de bosta, engoli bosta adoidada e nem falei nada, nÃ©, pra quÃª. De repente chega uma outra, dizendo que a JÃºlia tinha sido assaltada. O QUÃ? SaÃ correndo com a Mari atrÃ¡s, tava apavorada, tremendo, mas graÃ§as a deus nÃ£o tinha acontecido nada com ela, e eu tive que ouvir umas bostas da coordenadora. NÃ£o saiu trabalho nenhum, e Ã© pra amanhÃ£. Quem me meteu nessa do teatro foi o Pedro, eu nÃ£o queria, nunca iria querer, ainda mais com aquele bando de capivara. Ele me colocou porque eu nÃ£o estava na aula, jÃ¡ que estava espalhando panfletos do Vida Urgente na frente do colÃ©gio, porque eu sou do Grupo de Jovens que, inclusive, ele Ã© um dos criadores e me colocou lÃ¡. Me ralei bonito hoje, descobri que, se eu os achava um bando de capivara, agora tenho certeza de que sÃ£o. Nunca mais vou voltar sozinha pra casa. Eu detesto colÃ©gio. Ou seja, amiguinhos, nÃ£o riam de ninguÃ©m, porque quem ri por Ãºltimo, ri melhor. Quem riu por Ãºltimo, hoje, foi ele, mas amanhÃ£, amanhÃ£ vai ter. Ou nÃ£o. E tÃ´ nem aÃ se meus textos sÃ£o decrescentes, nÃ£o preciso disso pra viver, mesmo. (pra me acalmar eu coloquei todas as minhas mÃºsicas do Doors na playlist do Winamp, e, curiosamente, na hora que eu terminei de escrever essa bosta, tocava "People are strange", o que me fez refletir, mas nÃ£o importa sobre o que. E agora tÃ¡ tocando "when the music's over".)

lunabee34: SPN fic: Do it Like This; Sam/Dean

2007-10-09T16:38:00.001-07:00

Title: Do it Like This
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: Adult
Word count: 1,066 This is one thousand words of pure, unadulterated PWP for because she sent me that picture of Chad Michael Murray. You know the one. The one where he's got that necklace in his mouth and it's so obscenely hot that the edges of the screen go all melty. Yeah. Thanks, sweetie. Theyâve never fucked like this before. Itâs usually Dean on his knees sucking Sam off quick and dirty or Samâs hand on Deanâs dick jerking rough and fast and a little too dry. They donât kiss and they donât take off all their clothes when they mess around and they donât sleep in the same bed and they certainly donât go anywhere near each otherâs asses. Those are the rules and Deanâs happy with the rules. Heâs fucking ecstatic with the rules, which means, of course, that he shouldâve known Samâs just itching to screw up their little arrangement. Sam unzips Deanâs jeans and pushes them down his hips. He mouths wetly at Deanâs cock through his boxers, licking at the shaft through the slit in the fabric. Sam eases Dean out and sucks him slowly, gently swirling his tongue around the head on each upstroke. Deanâs skin prickles. The back of his neck is hot and uncomfortable and he doesnât know what the hell Sam thinks heâs doing. When Sam pulls off with an obscenely wet noise and starts licking at Deanâs balls, rolling them around in his mouth even, Dean ignores how good it feels and smacks his brother hard on the shoulder. âQuit fucking around and suck my dick already, Sam.â Sam smiles up at him, his lips all shiny with spit and slightly swollen, and something in Deanâs belly goes sweetly liquid. âI am sucking your dick,â he says in the voice heâd use to talk to a very dumb four year old. âNo, youâre not. Youâre, youâre . . . I donât know what youâre doing, but if you were blowing me right weâd be done here already.â Sam rocks back on his heels and looks Dean square in the eyes, something else Deanâs positive is against the rules. âDean,â he says kindly, âshut up now.â And then he goes right back to what he was doing before, lapping at Deanâs balls and his cock, perverse little strokes of his tongue that make Dean crazy, make him rock his hips into Samâs mouth involuntarily. Dean hears himself breathing, low and ragged and working on needy, and he figures this is going somewhere he doesnât want to go. Some place theyâll both be sorry for later. Sam pushes him down on the bed, yanking Deanâs jeans off completely as he falls, and the second Deanâs back hits the sheets heâs rolling on his side and away. Sam catches him and pins him to the bed with those long-ass arms, with all the extra height and weight he has on Dean. âSammy, get the hell off me! What the fuck is wrong with you?â Dean struggles, his wrists turning in Samâs grip, his thigh grinding against Samâs hard on. âWe donât do it like this.â Sam leans down over him, his eyes gone dark and wild, and whispers into Deanâs mouth, âMaybe I want to do it like this.â Then Sam kisses him softly, licking Deanâs bottom lip and over his teeth and into all the places Dean is afraid to let him go. âMaybe I donât want to suck you off as fast as I can so you can pretend itâs not me on my knees for you.â Sam kisses harder, his tongue stroking Deanâs with the same rhythm as his dick rubbing against Deanâs leg. âMaybe Iâm tired of you hiding from me.â âSam,â Dean says and he barely recognizes his own voice. âI donât know how . . .â His voice cracks and Dean tucks his face into Samâs shoulder. Maybe Sam knows heâs broken Dean with that kiss because he stops holding Dean down and just holds him. âShhhh,â Sam says. âI got you. I got you.â After a while of just breathing together, Sam unbuttons Deanâs shirt, slowly and with trembling fingers. Dean doesnât stop him. When Dean is finally naked, exposed and vulnerable and fighting the urge to cross his arms over his chest, Sam undresses himself. He kisses Dean so unbearably sweetly, with such tenderness, that Dean is wrecked, shattered. Dean makes a strangled sound somewhere in the back of his throat and then he kisses Sam back, running his hands all over his brotherâs body in a way he never let himself admit he wanted. Sam bites at Deanâs neck, sinks sharp teeth into his collarbone and works his mouth down Deanâs chest. Samâs tongue on Deanâs nipples feels good, good enough that Deanâs cock starts sliding wetly against Samâs belly, good enough that Dean is sorry he denied them this for so long. âI want to fuck you,â Sam says and Dean freezes, his heart jackrabbiting, his body tensed and afraid. If they do this, thereâs no way to take it back, no way to pretend anymore. Maybe thatâs Samâs point. âYeah. Okay. Okay,â Dean says. Sam slicks him up, an endless press of wet fingers, a continuous slide that has Dean grunting and pushing back onto Samâs hand, that leaves him shaking and open and falling apart. Sam urges him over onto his hands and his knees and then Sam is inside him. Dean feels tightly strung, as if the slightest movement will snap his spine, as if the least bit more pleasure will tear him in two. Then Sam takes a shuddering breath and drives into him, over and over again, and Dean doesnât break. Not in the way he thought he would. Everything irises down to the sweat damp thrust of Samâs cock, his fingers clamped on Deanâs hips, his mouth sucking up marks on Deanâs shoulder blades. Dean comes without Sam ever touching his cock, his ass squeezing Sam almost viciously when he does, and Sam comes too. Sam says things when he comes, sweet filth and desperation, things he would never say except with all their defenses stripped bare. Sam pulls out and Dean aches with his absence. Before Dean can roll away, Sam eases him onto his side and holds him, his heart beating wildly against Deanâs back. âStay,â he says, and this is the most dangerous moment of all, the moment when they promise to acknowledge what theyâve done in the light of day. Sam clutches him almost painfully and Dean knows then heâs not the only one whoâs been afraid. âNot going anywhere, Sammy,â Dean says. Sam mashes his face into Deanâs shoulder and they sleep.

randomcrap: Another nudge!

2007-10-09T16:19:00.001-07:00

And I'm a procrastinator, which doesn't help. so... for those who care (no it's not a pity party, just I don't really care to read my own ramblings anymore, so why would you dear constant reader?) here's somethings. IN list form. With maybe explanations. My old leather chair finally died for the 8th (give or take 2) time. Since I had the buffer, and believe in spending for quality of stuff over quantity of stuff, I went out to get a new chair. For $1,400 which is actually how much I planned on spending. Right before I left I finished the discover goliath off (at bob's prompting) which set me back another 2.5k, but I guess I wasn't really set back all that much since it was inheritance and technically it brough my net worth back up. Alas, I'm a product of today's society which believes in instant gratification. It's a really REALLY nice chair tho. (There were others I liked a little more - read - softer, bigger, etc, but they were in the 1.8 - 2.5k range; 1.4 was what I felt comfortable spending) That, was not a good start for list format. KK and I tried to take a break as of last post. It didn't work out so much due to the fact that she got sick and one of her friends texted me, and it was like - we never planned on taking a break at all. Apparently, 2 for 2 of the last 2 times I've gotten drunk (I should really be writing out two, it doesn't take that much effort, I'm a decient keyboarder - don't need to look at the keyboard anymore once I'm on a roll) I've been a total asshole, and my moods have changed like a sine wave on an oscillator scope. The last, I won't go into detail, and I don't remember any of it, but I practially raped her... and tried to do some things to her that are both illegal in va as well as... well, she didn't want to do. And said some things. Which to me, is bad. Bad sign. Manhandled her a LOT during the sex, and she said she had bruses for a few days. Bad D. On one hand I'm still beating myself up for it, on another, that's not the D I am. Or try to be. This is no longer even an attempt at list format, is it. On the plus note, I havn't cheated on her. And I've had the opportunity - a few times - so I feel good about the self restraint - or maybe I do love her. As I've stated many times - I don't understand me, I don't even try. So there's no way in hell you'll be able to. People who are qualified don't even try unless I pay them, so uhm - fuck it. I have better things to spend the limited amount of money I have right now on. (but you just bought a chair for 1.4k) (yeah - the chair makes me happy and I sit in it all the fucking time - I'd see a shrink for an hour maybe once or twice a week) So we really are taking a break. Just not "breaking up" - cheating is still cheating, atleast as far as I'm concerned. If she has sex with someone else while we're "breaking" I'll find out eventually and that will be that. I'm pragmatic, or I try to be, so wait until we actually break up for the emotional outpouring. They did water main work on the water main at the bottom of the street a few weeks ago. Every fucking time they do water main work I lose something in the house, up until then it was bearable. Now, tho, it took out the hot water to the bathtub. Which means the shower too. (Side note - my only way of pinning the actual time frame down is - it was when Joe was alive. I might get to that later). So after planning and scheming, and finally having a day off with no distractions when I had to do something in the afternoon which meant no cookies during the morning, I took my bathtub faucet apart and fixed it (read - unclogged the pipe) and was able to put it back together and have it work perfectly. Kudos to D. After atleast 2 weeks of cold showers (literally) in the morning (I'm a pre-work shower kinda guy), right after waking up (helped me be extra moody), I took a "close to hot" shower with awesome pressure this morning. Dad has the hot water heater turned to "vacation" so it doesn't keep the hot water hot. Feel free to try this out at my house sometime if you're here before he passes, turn the hot water on in the faucet while you pee, so as to wash your hands after, and I gurantee by the time you finish peeing the hot water will be as hot as it gets. 40gal water heater too - don't worry about running out of hot water. HN died the tuesday before last. Tuesday night. My brother from another mother, G, found him. Called me on the way home from Kat's, where I was hearing about the previous friday night (read: last time I was really drunk, literally 2nd out of 2 times I mentioned earlier) and told me. I thought he was kidding at first, really. It's fucked me up a little bit, time will tell just how badly. Cause, I have nobody to vent to really about dad. HN knew him. His brothers came here from Chicago (where I always have a place to stay if I need it) and were handling his affairs until they found the will that left everything to this guy who wasn't related to him but... it's really really long and complicated. They kinda closed shop, did a memorial service, left me as "caretaker" for his property (I can't go inside, even tho I have a key) which means - don't let it look like "nobody" lives there and have obvious shit fixed and bill them for it. I hear that dude went to probate court today or tomorrow (in which case, I hear that dude is going to probate court, duh) so my duties will end soon. Grapevine says I will get the Reatta, but I don't really care. I want HN back. Everyone else seems to be very... gung-ho on diving up his stuff. Seems crass and dishonorable to me, but as we all know, not only do I have a very skewed sense of honor, but I beat the shit out of myself for it too which causes nothing but more problems. If you only knew how shit seriously eats at me. Bob might have an idea. But (stupid introspection, stop!) maybe I like it. KK and I are really taking a break this time, as afore mentioned. From October 3 to November 3, literally a month non-communication, "before we kill eachother" in her words (I think was said to make me not feel so bad about the crap I do while drunk, and needing a break). Dad's back on Chemo, but not really Chemo. The medicine is for cancer, some sort of receptor blocking drug that's targeted (carboplatin?) doctor mentioned something about "immunotherapy", but not on an actual "Chemotherapy" drug, which I've taken to understand is a "targeted poision". Yay. During the break, apparently the nodules in his lungs (where the dr is really worried) have grown. Some have doubled in size, some have tripled. I see and deal with him every day - I don't know how to feel. He suffers, really makes serious decisions all the time (which scares the shit out of me), I leave him alone in the house every day, and yes, he drives around - he goes places in the PT Cruiser. Starts back up next Wednesday. Dude at work is less annoying since the old people are no longer his friends. He realizes, seriously, that I tolerate him and will converse with him (altho short and snippits, and sometimes I can't help talking to people) so he's kinda calmed down. He fucked up hard with the older people; he left a IM window open where he was talking mad shit about how much he hated them while he took one of his customary 30 min "shit breaks" (he has atleast 2 on any given day - people like that shouldn't look down on my 7 min at a time cig breaks) and I swear on my family bible, they just kinda walked up and read it. Actually called me over to look and I kinda grimaced and went back to work. Maybe, one day, I'll tell about why "I badly wanted him gone" but you know - while I take a little pleasure after the fact, seeing someone make such a stupid mistake really kinda hurt. This is why I'm so paranoid AND I don't fuck around on the computers at work. Why do you think I LOVE my iPhone so much? Hmmmm, safari, perfectly rendered pages, nekked pics of chicks who have boobs almost as nice as "someone I know"'s look? (I'll probably edit this at a later date to something even MORE vague) Plus eventually you know there will be MMS support as well as some sort of chat support. I'm waiting for Leapord (the OSX version) as much as any Apple fanboy for the upgrades and updates that will be available for my iPhone. As much as I waited for... Halo 3 (MIcrosoft), my Chair to be delivered (Scan Furniture), The window seat at work back (altho I'll never admit it - looking out the window, even at some pavement, is better then staring off into the office), but not the event. that takes precidence. i can't ask for it because i know he wouldn't approve of what i'd spend it on. or spending it in general. because of how much everything costs. i... wow, an oven isn't a necessity I digress. i'm going to do something now, be it watch tv or what not. too long a post. ~D

creyewolf

2007-10-09T16:03:00.001-07:00

You know what
To hell with it all
I'm done helping people
Not that anyone has denied my advice or help or anything like that
But I realized that most people don't even try to look on the bright side to cope with their problems with a positive attitude
So most of them deserve the discomfort they get
Not saying my life is horrible or anything
But with the way the girls have been acting lately, their mother constantly calling to try to fuck things up,
The social worker or whatever screwing us over in more ways than we can count, the end of all this court crap on the line this month,
Being a lazy bum with no friends and barely even communicating with his family because they're busy enough with the other shit going on, worrying about doing my best in these classes so I an enjoy the rest of my life
And tons of other stuff, and still be more happy and positive than most people in todays world
Theres something seriously fucked up here
I don't see how people can fret so much for so long about losing a boyfriend/girlfriend that they've been with for just a few months
Grow up, its not the end of the world and its not like you're going to be alone forever
Theres plenty of other people good enough for you out there
And these people who have tons of friends and complain how one of them has "stabbed them in the back"
Stop labeling things and something its not
So they lied or said something about you to someone when you weren't all ears
Once again, grow up and stop acting like a child
Only small children wine about people making fun of them or something
Stop saying you're ugly, stop saying you're fat, stop saying you're lonely, stop saying your life is horrible, stop saying you have no friends, stop saying you're treated so badly, stop saying you hate your parents, stop saying they treat you like shit, stop saying the world is out to get you, stop saying you have no friends, stop saying you're sad, stop saying you're depressed, stop saying you have it rough, stop saying the pain wont stop, stop saying your heart is broken, stop saying you want to die, stop saying the world would be better off without you
Stop being so goddamn dumb

Learn to be happy and deal with your problems in a positive manner
I know it sounds hard, but you can do it
Its not hard at all
Its called not being a sissy about every single thing in life
Its called being a better person to yourself and those around you

I may sound like an asshole or selfish or something
But being around a positive person with self pride and respect is better than being around someone who just bitches about wanting to die all the time
What sounds better
"Wow, I actually think I've lost a few pounds. Hot shit, and today is a beautiful day out and I'm extremely happy for no reason, lets go meet some cool people"
Or
"Today sucks, its just another day that I'm still here alive and breathing. I miss so and so. He/shes gone and now I just want to die. I'm so ugly and fat"

Get a fuckin clue.

x_killmyheart_x: Wanting More

2007-10-09T15:38:00.001-07:00

I don't understand why I get the feeling that a guy keeps going after me, especially while I'm in a relationship? I was on my way to English, and I stopped at Jazzmans to get a latte. My cell phone rings....it was my friend from the other night. Apparently, he saw me from the Palms area. I turned around, and I was like....oh gosh. There he was....waving at me. I haven't spoken to him since that night. I still think about it, and how I stupid I was for letting him have me. He looked at me with....I don't know, let's just say he gave me this sensual look. Damn it all. I've realized he's been trying to get with me ever since he found out I was single. I hope he knows I'm with someone right now, and was never really interested in him. I guess when you mess around with someone, they want you more. We had a run in at the TKE party last semester. Then, the next day, sends me a message saying that it was nothing. Wow! So, why in the fuck did he come after me again? I'm not his playmate or anything. He kind of reminds me of my friend, Ryan, except I was interested in him. Of course, "I'm his friend and friends should have sex." WTF?!?! Okay....I DON'T THINK SO. I've never heard of friends having sex every other weekend because "we're buddies." I think this is the main reason why I hate giving it up outside of a relationship. Here's the thing: don't ever let a person take advantage of you, regardless of the temptation.

npolean_n_rags: sometimes, I'd just as soon not be part of this club

2007-10-09T15:19:00.001-07:00

so I have these times I wish I weren't a Christian. Oh, I'm totally cool with living according to God's Word. Following It's wisdom and instruction, finding It's comfort. And I am grateful for the forgiveness of my many (MANY!) sins in Christ's atoning work on my behalf. None of that troubles me in the slightest, in fact I DELIGHT in it! See from my perspective what really bugs me about Christianity is it's full of CHRISTIANS! Not all of them, not even MOST of them. It's just "some" Christians that "bug me." Below is a post that dates back to May of this year from the blog The View From Marrs written by Tony Marrs. It is entitled Top Ten Things Heard By Christians, He writes; A friend and I were discussing some of the outrageous things we have had said to us over our years in ministry. Some were quite humorous, while some were a little alarming. Anyway, this got me thinking of some of the most incredible things I have had Christian people say to me over the years. After pondering this for some time, I decided to put together a top ten list. Everything on the list is true and was actually said to me, face to face, by a âChrist lovingâ Christian man or woman. It OK to laugh, it helps fight back the tears. In no particular order: 10. âWe have spent our whole lives trying to protect our children from this kind of secular garbage. We entrust you with our kids and you fill them with this? I can not believe that you would let our son watch this. Sports are vial, aggressive and promote competition among Gods people.â Said to me by a father after his 16-year-old son watched a college football game at my house. 9. âWell your communion is not valid in the eyes of Christ. It is merely a Sunday snack, a disgraceful mocking of what our Lord did on the cross.â Said to me by another pastor upon finding out our church auditorium did not have the communion elements displayed on a table up front that said, âDo this in remembrance of Me.â 8. âYou know that you have never really worshiped God. Christ has not ever been present in your worship services.â Same person different conversation. This time he was mad because our church did not do a call to worship at the beginning of our service. 7. âHow dare you try and bully my daughter. We have be preparing and planning her future for years and I am not going to let you persuade her away from our plans. I could have you fired for this.â Said to me by an elder at our church when I talked to his daughter about not going to a state university to study biology, but to go to a Christian college and be a missionary. She felt it was what God was calling her to do. Dad did not. Dad won. 6. â Las Vegas is sin city. Christians have no place being anywhere near that town. Jesus would not be caught dead there.â Said to me by another pastor at a national pastorâs convention when he found out I ministered at a church in Las Vegas. 5. âPastors shouldnât need help. If they are truly following the will of God and trusting in Him then they will not grow tired, frustrated or have problems with people in their congregations. Pastors that are having problems should not be in ministry in the first place.â One of many similar anonymous emails I have received through Higher Ministries. 4. âYou need to be the parent in this situation. I canât handle it anymore. I need you to be the parent.â Another elder of our church as he dropped his son off at my house unannounced after being suspended from school. 3. âMarriage, especially when you are in ministry, is not about love. It is about finding a partner. The love always goes away; you need someone who will make a good partner in ministry and in life.â Said to Rebecca and me one month before our wedding by another pastor I worked with when I asked him for his best advice on managing marriage and ministry. 2. âWhat are you complaining about? You just got to go away for two weeks of camp.â I know anyone in student ministry has heard that before, but this was said to me in staff meeting by another pastor on staff! We were talking about how long it had been since we had a vacation and how tired and emotionally spent we were. She seriously thought that my week with 80 high schoolers followed by a week with 30 middle schoolers was a relaxing vacation! 1. âThat baptism was not valid in the eyes of God because it was not done in a church baptistery.â Said to me by another pastor when I was telling the story of baptizing someone in the Pacific Ocean. I asked him what church baptistery Jesus was baptized in. He did not think I was funny. Honorable Mention: âIf my son grows up to be a homosexual I am holding you personally responsible.â This one did not make the list because it was not said directly to me, but I was there! The person I was interning for mooned a couple of our high school students at camp. Mom did not get the joke. She actually called a lawyer. Trust me nobody is turning gay after looking at his rear. Thatâs my list. So many more resurfaced in my mind as I was putting this together. I am sure that many of you have similar stories and I would love to hear them. Post a reply, maybe we will give out an award to the best one. So that's what Marrs wrote. I think some of those people could use some time studying the Word, especially in James 1:19-27 and 3:2-12, about controlling our tongues and how we can hurt and offend with it. Does bring up two points, though; I wonder how many times I have said something equally stupid and offensive to someone. And boy I'm sure glad something I said didn't show up on that list! Chesed (in deed AND WORD!) Late.

aikodestiny: 'S Wonderful, and all that follows

2007-10-09T14:56:00.001-07:00

Aaaaah, tired, tired. Real life is doing good, which of course means less and less internet time. And I think I'm talking more than I used to, but on the downside I don't feel like blogging any more because I've already told the same story to everyone and their dog already. For example, this afternoon we were talking about a children's book on Math that I read ages ago, since I found out that lots of people in my course read it too. Must be a mind-control thing: you read the book, you're gonna study Math. Anyway the guy sitting in the row below me turned and said "Hans Magnus Enzensberger", and both me and Irene went all... o.O what?
So he said it again, and then said it was the author of the book we were talking about. Aside from the fact that he was listening to a private conversation... and while I have no dirty secrets that I should hide from the world, I say some pretty stupid things and I'd rather not everybody found out how much stupid... having someone turn at you and say something like "humma whumma hamburger" is just too funny. Only it's not funny now because I've told the story thrice already and it's getting old, but it was fun at the time. Trust me.
Moving on to serious things... courses are going well, though I hate English. I'm planning not to attend the lessons, and hopefully what I know will be enough to pass the exam. I know that I won't buy a copy of the book (unless it's second-hand and cheap) since it was written by our professor and I'm not giving her money from royalties.
I got the scholarship letter today. Well, yesterday actually, but nobody was home so I had to go to the Post Office to get it. The lady who gave it to me was kind of... durr... perplexed. Asked me if the letter was for me, if I was of age, if I had an ID... I always do, I *know* I don't look my age. Then she reads the sender's address (it's a very posh name, national institute for the study of mathemathics... or something like that) and goes all "ooooh, Math"... I told her that I was studying Math and she sounded impressed. I hate when people do that, it makes me sound as if I'm some kind of trained horse who can do number tricks. Maybe everyone in my course *is* a freak (Hans Magnus Enzensberger, no?) but... whatever. So she gives me the letter and asks if I have good marks at school. I don't know if the poor woman still didn't believe I'm a uni student and tried to persuade herself that I was a high schooler in disguise. So I told her I was just on my first year but hoped to do ok, and got home.
What else? I'm still having lunch with Paola and Irene (and Paola's roommate Giulia and today another friend of theirs whose name I can't remember for the life of me - yes, I fail at names). So I half-solved my lunch problem. Apart that... uhm... I'll have to remember that they fail at making coffee. Chronically.
And the 7th season of Gilmore Girls is on at long last - I watched episodes 3 and 4 today, and I luff Lorelei and Christopher. Anyone who spoils me is DED.

jacrogers: ch 5.

2007-10-09T14:41:00.001-07:00

rupert/emily.
it all started with the charm bracelet.
ch. 5.

05.

I woke up incredibly early the next morning, the anticipation building in my stomach. I decided to shower, figuring that nobody would be up at eight in the morning on a Saturday.

Unfortunately Alice and Hadley woke up at the same time I did and insisted upon doing my hair, makeup, and picking out my outfit for today after I showered. I tried to protest, but realized that it was a lost cause.

When I came back to the room, Alice was pulling open some of my dresser drawers and throwing clothes around. Hadley had started to go through her own trunk and had tossed some options on to the carpeted floor and had then proceeded to take some of Aliceâs things and throw them on the carpet too.

After the fury of clothes picking died down, both of them then convened in the middle of the room, and when I tried to edge my way over they closed me out of their circle. I sighed and sat back down on my bed. Finally, Alice stood up waving about twelve different pieces of clothing in the air triumphantly. âThis is what youâre wearing!â

She threw all of the clothes at me and I simply looked at them.

âThese arenât mine, are they?â I asked, confused.

âUh, nope,â Hadley answered. âBut just put it on. Iâm pretty sure itâll look amazing.â

I dressed myself in the outfit they had given me. A neon blue dress with a pink long-sleeved shirt under it, black leggings, a pair of Uggs, and an assortment of mismatched jewelry that happened to pull the entire outfit together. I actually thought theyâd done a pretty good job. I wasnât sure if I could have come up with this myself.

âOh my god! You look amazing!â Alice said, jumping up and down.

âAmazing,â Hadley reiterated. âNow for your hair and makeup.â

I just sat down on my bed and let them do what they wanted; I was in no mood to argue. The two of them fussed about for a bit, applied loads of makeup, and then straightened my hair.

âOkay, okay! Weâre done,â Alice cried excitedly. âGo look!â

I stood up prepared for some sort of disgusting combination of makeup, but as I looked in the mirror I didnât even recognize myself. Theyâd thickly lined my eyes with black eyeliner and used an iridescent eye shadow, making my blue eyes pop. My hair was also the straightest it had been all year so far. It looked good. I had to hand it to them. They knew what they were doing.

âAre you ready?â Hadley asked, glancing at the digital clock on her bedside table. It read 12:14 pm. I didnât understand how so many hours had passed, but apparently they had.

âI guess,â I said, becoming more nervous that I had been when I woke up. I could barely breathe.

âUh well, get ready, cus here he comes now,â Alice said, poking her head out the door. âAnd wow, heâs looking pretty nice.â She shut the door again, and we heard a knock. Both the girls hugged me tightly and wished me luck, which I was now beginning to think I would need because I couldnât speak. I just nodded and opened the door.

âHey,â Rupert said smiling. âHey Alice, Hadley.â

They waved, then Alice quickly slammed our door shut, leaving me and Rupert standing outside alone. My stomach was doing flips.

âSo, are you ready?â he asked.

âUh, I guess,â I managed to choke out.

âYou lookâ¦really great,â he said.

âUh, thanks,â I said, mentally noting that I had to ask the girls how they had done my makeup.

Rupert pushed open the door to our dorm and we walked outside. The snow was coming down hard, and I shivered.

âYou cold?â Rupert asked.

âKind of,â I admitted.

He slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. âBetter?â

âYeah,â I said, my heart beating at about a hundred miles per hour.

As we began making our way into town, I got more comfortable and completely forgot that we were on a date at all. That is, until we went into the little coffee shop in town and Rupert insisted on paying for me.

We sat down in a small booth in the corner of the shop, me drinking a chai tea and Rupert drinking some other sort of coffee.

âYouâve got snow in your hair,â Rupert said, leaning forward and brushing the top of my head off with his hands. I looked up to see him about three inches from my face. I immediately began to blush, and scooted backwards, away from him.

Both of us awkwardly sat in silence before we began to laugh.

âThis is ridiculous,â Rupert said. âWe always have something to talk about.â

âI know,â I said laughing. And immediately after that we launched into conversation, which we managed to continue for the rest of the trip through town. Deciding that neither of us wanted to waste our money on Christmas items yet, we decided to go back to school.

âFirst one back wins!â Rupert yelled, but I shook my head. I wasnât in the mood to race. I just wanted to walk through the snow and enjoy the chilly winter day. âOh come on! Whatâs your deal?â

âNothing, I just donât feel like racing you right now,â I said, tucking my hands in my pockets.

âAlright,â Rupert said, walking back to where I stood. âThen we can just go back to campus. Slowly.â I nodded.

Soon enough we arrived back at campus to a deserted common room; all of the other kids were still in town, though Iâd been oblivious to them. The only person I cold focus on was Rupert. We both sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace.

âI had a good time today,â I said, leaning backwards.

âOf course you did,â Rupert said. âYou were on a date with me.â

âYouâre so full of yourself,â I teased.

âNo, Iâm just honest,â he said, hitting me with a pillow.

âHey!â I said, hitting him back.

âWait,â Rupert said. âI have a question.â

âOkay, go,â I said, feeling nervous.

âRemember how you promised me a favor yesterday?â

âUh, yeah,â I said. âVaguely.â

âIâm using it now.â

âOkay,â I said, thoroughly confused.

âSo. Kiss me,â he said. I was shocked.

âWait, excuse me?â I said, laughing.

âYou heard me,â he said. âCome on.â

âDefinitely not,â I said.

âPlease,â Rupert said, tilting my face towards his. I buried it in crossed arms though. âI just want to see something.â

âSee what?â I asked.

âJust kiss me,â he said.

âWhat if I donât want to?â I asked, though honestly, I did want to.

âPlease try to tell me youâve never had an urge to kiss me,â Rupert said, crossing his arms defiantly.

âIâve never had an urge to kiss you,â I said evenly.

âRight, so thatâs why you kissed me that night in September,â Rupert said.

âThat was different,â I said. âIt was just in the heat of the moment kind of thing.â

âRight, and thatâs why you got so upset when you found me kissing that other girl,â Rupert said, leaning closer to me.

âJust leave me alone!â I said, suddenly angry that he was figuring me out. I stood up and ran towards the stairs, but Rupert caught my arm.

âAbsolutely not,â he said, backing me up against a stone wall.

âSeriously,â I said. âJust stop.â

âIâm not doing anything,â he said, looking at me with his blue eyes, which were making me feel quite dizzy at the current time.

And then he leaned forward and tilted my head up toward his. My heart was racing. Right before his lips touched mine though, I turned my head, so he only caught my cheek.

âWhat the hell?â he asked, clearly confused.

âJust go away!â I said. I wasnât even sure why I had done that; Iâd wanted to kiss him since this morning. Actually, since the last time heâd kissed me.

âWhatâs your deal, Emily?â he asked, moving away slowly. âYou donât make any sense. First I think you like me, then I think you donât like me, then when I finally decide to go for it, you donât like me anymore.â I took in what he was saying, then realized it was exactly what he had been doing too. It wasnât just me.

âYeah well, you werenât the only one confused,â I said quietly.

âWhatever, Emily,â Rupert said, walking over to the boysâ staircase.

For some reason I stood frozen to the ground, and watched him walk up the stairs. I felt horrible. I heard his door slam and slumped down on to the ground, putting my head between my knees. I tried to figure out what I should do, but no answer came. I sighed loudly and before I knew what I was doing I had arrived at Rupertâs dorm. I lifted my hand to knock, but quickly lowered it. This was not a good idea. I knocked anyway.

The door swung open slowly, revealing Rupert.

âWhat do you want?â he asked.

âTo come in,â I said, simply.

âWhat if I donât want you to come in?â he said.

âYou donât really have a choice,â I said, stepping into his room and slamming the door shut behind me.

âI guess Iâll live,â Rupert said, sighing dramatically.

âAre you mad at me?â I asked.

âNot really,â he said. âBut you did promise me a favor. I won that race fair and square.â

âOkay,â I said, walking towards him. âThen come up with one that doesnât involve me kissing you.â

âOkay,â he said, standing up. âCome here.â

I did as I was told and inched my way over to where Rupert stood. Before I actually knew what was happening he had his lips on mine, his tongue trying to edge his way in. I opened my mouth, and nervously kissed him back. I had the chills, but was happy that this was happening. I had wanted it after all. We continued to kiss, Rupert pushing me backwards onto his bed. It was so weird. Why was I kissing my best friend? I wondered if he was having these same thoughts or if it was just me. The more I kissed him the more I felt like I only liked him as a friend. And by the time he had my shirt off I was pretty certain that this was all a really big mistake.

âI canât do this,â I said, breaking away from our heated kiss.

âWhy not?â Rupert asked, shaking his red hair away from his forehead.

âYouâre my best friend,â I said.

âSo?â he asked.

âI canât stop thinking about it,â I admitted. âThis feels wrong to me.â

âWell, I canât stop you from leaving if you want to,â Rupert said, gesturing to the door. I sighed. I was incredibly confused. I stood up and walked to the door. I ran back to my dorm, tears already beginning to fall. I wasnât even sure why I was crying. I pushed open the door to find Hadley emptying out a load of shopping bags. Alice was nowhere to be seen.

âOh my god! Emily! Whatâs wrong?â Hadley asked as I ran in and threw myself on my bed, crying. âShh, itâs okay.â

âI donât know what to do,â I cried.

âAbout what?â Hadley asked.

âRupert,â I said. Then it was like a dam broke and I just started to sob.

âWhat happened? Did the date go badly?â Hadley asked.

âNo,â I sobbed. âIt went well. Butâ¦but then, then he tried to kiss me, when we got back here,â I stuttered. âI, I mean, then he did. But I told him I couldnât because it felt weird. When I was, was, kissing him, I felt like it was all a really big mistake.â

âHoney, itâs okay,â Hadley said. âYouâre allowed to have mixed feelings.â

âBut I donât know, Hadley,â I wailed. âI donât know. When I get what I want I get so scared that I push it away.â

âSo you admit to fancying him then?â Hadley asked.

âI donât know!â I cried. âI donât know.â

âCalm down, calm down,â Hadley said, handing me a box of tissues. I sat up and tried to breathe. My mascara was running down my face at this point and bleeding black into the tissue that I was using to dab at my cheeks with. I thought about how everything had been for the past few months and how much I liked Rupertâs little signs of affection, and his personality, and how I actually had liked kissing him. I had just convinced myself that I couldnât do it. Finally, I just gave in.

âYes,â I said, beginning to cry again.

âYes?â Hadley repeated. âYes what?â

âYes. Yes, I fancy him,â I said, crying.

âItâs okay,â Hadley said, wrapping me in a hug. âYou know what, Iâll be right back. Iâm going to get you some water.â

I nodded, trying to wipe the smeared makeup from my face. A second later the door was pushed open. I looked up, expecting Hadley, but instead saw Rupert. Fuck.

âYou okay?â he asked me.

âWhereâs Hadley?â I asked, ignoring his question.

âUh, she had to run to go get some more water bottles from the dining hall. We didnât have any left.â He sat down beside me on my bed.

âYou always catch me at the worst times,â I said, half-laughing. âIâm sorry.â I tried to wipe off my wet face.

âItâs okay,â Rupert said, putting his arms around me. âLook, Iâm sorry about before. Really. I shouldnât have done that. Iâm sorry if it upset you.â

âTell me something,â I said, leaning into Rupertâs embrace.

âSure,â he said. Iâm not sure he expected what was going to come out of my mouth though.

âDo you fancy me?â I blurted.

Rupert immediately turned pink. âWhat? Do I what?â

âFancy me?â I repeated, now feeling slightly embarrassed myself.

âDo you?â he asked, avoiding my question.

âDo I what?â I asked, playing stupid.

âFancy me?â he asked.

âI asked you first,â I said.

âAnd I asked you second,â he said.

âShut-up,â I said, laughing. He laughed too. âBut really.â

âReally,â he said, looking at me. He paused. âI, well, this is just going to make everything uncomfortable.â

âHow?â I asked. âWhy canât you just tell me?â

âWhat if this ends badly?â he asked.

âWhy are you thinking about that?â I replied.

âBecause I, I suck at relationships. I donât want our friendship to be ruined,â he said.

âSo you fancy me then,â I said, trying to figure out what he was saying. âEither way our friendship is going to be uncomfortable after this, so you might as well tell me.â My heart was pounding. I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.

He looked at me with his big, blue eyes. âUh, well, I think.â

âThink?â I asked.

âYour turn,â he said, ignoring my question and removing his arms from around me, as if waiting for me to say yes so that he could replace them.

âI, I do,â I stuttered. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.

âSo then why did you say it was wrong before?â Rupert asked.

âI donât know,â I said. âI really donât.â

âOkay,â Rupert said, shrugging, then standing up. âWell, now that we have that out in the open, Iâm going to go back to my room.â

âDonât go,â I said, not realizing I had said it until it had come out of my mouth.

âWhy not?â he asked. I pouted.

âYou know that doesnât work on me,â he said sitting down. âIt never has.â

âSo then why are you sitting down?â I asked.

âBecause Iâm an amazing friend,â he countered. I rolled my eyes.

Then I scooted closer to him and he put his arm around me again. I looked up at him and he gently put his lips to mine, as if asking me if it was going to be okay now. I responded by opening my mouth a bit to let his tongue edge its way in. I pushed him backwards onto my bed and began to kiss him very, very hard. He kissed me back. I tugged off his shirt and felt his warm skin against mine. I almost forgot to breathe. He pulled off my shirt also and began to unclasp my bra, skillfully, as if heâd done this a million times before. Which I actually didnât doubt. He was famous. Therefore, he could have anybody he wanted. I felt weird snogging Rupert Grint, the star of the Harry Potter movies. It felt weird snogging my best friend. It wasnât weird in a bad way, but it was definitely different.

Then, like the last time, the door swung open unexpectedly, causing Rupert to jump and me to hit my head against his chin.

âOH MY GOD!â Hadley was standing there. âI am so sorry.â But she didnât back away or close the door. It was like she was frozen. Finally she appeared to regain consciousness and sprinted out of the room, clearly embarrassed.

âThat always happens to us,â Rupert said, laughing.

âYeah,â I agreed, suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable without anything covering my chest. But before I could do anything about it, Rupert lunged forward and began to kiss me again, this time unbuttoning my pants. I shivered as he ran his fingertips up and down my now bare thighs. This was too weird. I pulled back from the kiss.

âWhat?â Rupert asked. âToo fast?â

âUh, sort of,â I admitted. I didnât want to tell him that it still felt weird for me to be snogging my best friend, though he was also my love interest.

âNo worries mate,â he said, standing up and pulling his shirt back on. He walked towards the door and then stopped abruptly. âSo are we going to try this?â

âTry what?â I said, pulling out a random shirt from under my bed. I pulled it over my head.

âThatâs definitely mine,â Rupert said. I looked down and noticed that I was, in fact, wearing the shirt I had stolen from Rupert when we were much younger. âAm I ever getting that back?â

âNo,â I said. âItâs likeâ¦well it reminds me.â I didnât really know how to phrase what I was going to say, so I stopped and instead played with the charm bracelet Rupert had given me earlier on in the year.

âReminds you of what?â he asked.

âWell, when you were gone for filming all the time,â I said, âit reminded me of you.â

He grinned. âNot that itâs easy to forget me.â

âYou have such an ego,â I said, throwing a pillow at him.

âSorry,â he said, chuckling. âBut seriously. Are we going to try this?â

âThis being what?â I asked.

âUs,â he said, turning mildly pink again.

âUs?â I asked. âWeâve always been us.â

âYou know what I mean,â Rupert said. âYouâre being so difficult.â

âI just want you to say it,â I said, grinning, seeing I was causing him enormous discomfort.

âAre we going to try this?â Rupert asked. âAre you going to be my girlfriend?â

âOnly if you want me to be,â I said, my heart now beating so fast I could barely breathe.

âOf course,â he said. Then he reached into his back pocket. âBefore I forgetâ¦â He threw a small box at me. âOpen it.â

I took off the lid and inside was another little silver charm, this one a simple heart.

âHow did you knowâ¦â I started.

âI had a feeling,â he said, leaning up against my door. âCome here.â

I walked over toward him and he held out his hand. I dropped the little charm in it. He was nervous too. It wasnât just me. His fingers gave him away; they trembled as he tried to clasp the charm onto the little bracelet. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, whispering, âMeet me tomorrow morning in the commons at 1:30.â I gave him a questioning look but he merely raised his eyebrows and walked smoothly out the door.

levitatethis: Timelines: The Future is Now (3/4)

2007-10-09T14:21:00.001-07:00

Title: Timelines: The Future is Now (3/4); A Collection of One Shots
Rating: PG
Pairing: Mohinder/Sylar (non-sexual)
Summary: In Outrunning the Past Mohinder discovered Sylar was alive. In Present Tense they finally came face to face. The Future is Now is the power play between the two.

So now that your whole world
Has gone up into flames
This night is still never ending
Do you think youâre still safe?
Seems everything went wrong
We were discovered
But this time thereâs no tomorrow
-- Alexisonfire, âNo Transitoryâ

So save your scissors
For someone elseâs skin
My surface is so tough
I donât think the blade will dig in
Save your strength
Save your wasted time
--City and Colour, âSave Your Scissorsâ

Sylarâs visits are sporadic at best. It can be a day between visits or two weeks. Mohinder can guess what he is up to when he is away. The one thing he is certain of is that he is no longer being stalked. In any case if Sylar wanted to follow Mohinder now he would make himself known. It is not something that can be explained to anyone else; it is just an unspoken understanding they have.

He contemplates telling the Company but he does not trust that they will handle the situation correctly. In any case Sylar escaped from them before â it is not one of Bennettâs fondest memories. Bennettâ¦Mohinder has not told him either but he knows that Matt has passed on the message about Sylarâs return; he asked him to so-to-speak. The day after every visit, when Mohinder heads out he goes over the entire conversation of the night before in his head in the hopes that something will be revealed. He does not see him but he knows that Matt is nearby, channeling him, making notes of everything. It is incredible what a tracker and telepath can do. Molly knows the nights that Sylar visits and Matt knows when to be in the right place at the right time. He has asked Bennett to go over everything. Like Mohinder Bennett is playing it smart. There are no guns aâblazing this time. They are both biding their time until they know what game it is they are playing and whether their hand is any good.

The conversations between Sylar and Mohinder are of a curious nature. Mohinder always lets Sylar initiate the topics. They can be about anything; something funny he saw that day or the new look that he is adopting as his own (Mohinder notes he has moved on from Zaneâs short sleeve shirts over long sleeve shirts and jeans wardrobe); in turn Mohinder might mention a recent lecture he has given or faculty bureaucracy. Lately the conversations have revolved around his fatherâs book Activating Evolution. Mohinder treads carefully, the painful memories still run deep. Sylar matches his cautious steps.

Their conversations take place over meals or snacks. Initially Mohinder would just make enough for himself to eat as some act of defiance to Sylarâs being there, but it was irritating having Sylar pick food off his plate for himself; it was just as nerve wracking having Sylar not eat anything at all, instead choosing to watch him. To make the already strange situation less weird Mohinder started to make enough food for the two of them. To the unknowing observer it would look like two old friends catching up, figuring out if, after all this time, they still have something to talk about.

This is not one hundred percent untrue.

Despite the words unspoken, the truths just below the surface, the conversations are also a reminder of a time long since passed, thought to be forgotten. There are moments where it feels like two years before, when they both catch themselves in a silence that feels comfortable. It is an unsettling feeling, that sense of connection that should not exist anymore. In the time it takes for a light to flicker once they are two friends with eyes open to the future and no blood on their hands. When those personal silences appear Mohinderâs focus slightly falters and Sylar puts off his carefully constructed plan by another night.

Focus.
Why do today what you can put off for tomorrow?

********** ********** ********** ********** **********

Another night. Another dinner. Another conversation. This night, however, there is a tension that hangs over them. They are both sitting on the sofa with the TV on, tuned in to some random channel in the background, mugs filled with tea on the coffee table. Sylar is talking about some new find in Africa that is adding an entirely new layer to evolutionary theory. It feels like a lifetime since Mohinder last saw Molly. He knows Matt is taking care of her but he is furious with Sylar for the time he has lost. Tonight he hates Sylar for putting him in this position. Tonight he is ready for a fight.

Sylar can see the flicker behind Mohinderâs eyes but he cannot say for certain what the cause is. Tonight Mohinderâs silence is anything but comfortable. Mohinder silently wills Sylar to say Mollyâs name so they can get this all out in the open, no more pretenses. Sylar feels tonight is as good as any to move his plan forward but he has to remain cautious. One wrong step â but tonight should be right. The months they have spent together, spoken, conjured up memories, should have prepared Mohinder to be most receptive to what is about to be presented before him. Sylar is still speaking when Mohinder tunes back in.

ââThis evolutionary leap forward and yet all these people donât recognize their own significance. So instead of being part of human advancement they forcibly try to deny themselves, deny humankind, of what is biologically, naturally and rightfully ours. But the future is right now. Take meâ¦take Molly for example. We â.â

Now itâs been said.
Canât take that back.

Mohinder turns off the TV and pounces.

âYou speak about people not deserving their abilities,â Mohinder begins, ânot appreciating them so that you can justify taking their lives. But Molly is just a child. She hasnât had the chance to decide how she truly feels about her ability. Who are you to make that decision for her?â

Where did that come from?
Careful.

âFirstly,â Sylar slowly responds, âfor a scientist you donât seem to grasp the concept of survival of the fittest. I am evolution. I am doing what comes naturally to the species. I --.â

âYou donât understand the first thing about evolution!â Mohinder shouts as he stands up and looks down on Sylar who is still sitting on the sofa with a disguised state of shock at the outburst. Mohinder continues, âYouâve twisted it around to absolve yourself. The idea is for species to adapt to changes in their surroundings or die. Fine, youâve done that. But those species do not then attempt to wipe themselves out. Those species survive by passing on their genetic make up to their offspring. It is an ongoing process. Youâre destroying the evolved species to make yourself the most powerful. Who will you pass this onto? No one! It will end with you. What youâre doing isnât evolution. Itâs murderâ¦and your own suicide.â

Sylar says nothing in response. He was not expecting this offensive move from Mohinder. He simply looks up at Mohinder as the man towers over him.

Fight!
Stay calm.

After a few minutes Mohinder finally backs away and walks towards his desk. Sylar sits quietly then gets up and follows Mohinder. He picks up a random book from the desk and pretends to flip through it. He just needs to make Mohinder understand. Sylar calmly begins.

âWhen we traveled together I told you it was karma.â

Mohinder, who has his back to Sylar, turns around and looks him in the eye. He has a questioning look on his face as if he is trying to figure out what point Sylar is trying to make.

âThat wasnât a lie. You and me?â Sylar continues as he gestures between the two of them, âWeâre exactly where we need to be. My abilities â youâre a geneticist! You must know what that means? You must understand how we fit together?â

Slowly the realization dawns on Mohinder of what he is being asked to do. Sylar does not like the look he sees on Mohinderâs face but he is feeling forced into a defensive position and that is something he will not tolerate.

âI am not your Doctor Frankenstein,â Mohinder says, âI will not help create --,â

âMollyâ,â Sylar says as he attempts to interrupt but Mohinder is in full protective mode. There is no turning back. Mohinder jumps forward and gets into Sylarâs face.

âYou donât say her name; you donât even think about her!â Mohinder threatens. âDo you think that by bringing her up Iâll suddenly agree to do whatever you want? You seem to be under the mistaken impression that you have any power over me. Let me be clear. You will leave Molly alone and I will do nothing for you. If you hurt her in any way I will still do nothing for you. There is no negotiating here.â

Mohinderâs eyes are like steel, his stance is unlike anything Sylar has seen from him before.

Sylar carefully watches Mohinderâs face. Slowly he smiles. Raising his hand he holds Mohinder in his telekinetic grasp. It is the first time during all of these months together that Sylar has used any of his powers on Mohinder. Bitter memories of another night from long ago scream out to both of them.

âOh Mohinder. Negotiating is what we do.â Sylar states clearly and with assurance. âI have negotiated your life many times. You seem to be under the mistaken impression that you have any power at all. The very fact that you can stand here and proclaim your superiority is because I let you. The simple act of you breathing right now is because I let you. Now --,â

âYouâll have to kill me to get to her,â Mohinder says quickly without flinching.

For the first time during that nightâs argument Mohinderâs eyes reveal, for a brief moment, his fear. Sylar sees this and understands the meaning: Mohinder is telling the truth. He will die to protect Molly.

Sylar knows the night has gone in the wrong direction far too fast. It was not supposed to be like this. He needs to collect his thoughts and recalculate his next move before the situation gets any worse.

He removes his telekinetic hold on Mohinder but refuses to step back. Mohinder refuses to break eye contact. Frozen in a duel at dawn stance the unspoken words are thunderous. Sylar breaks first, acting as if this fight was completely expected and he could not care less. He exits the apartment leaving a defiant Mohinder behind.

âMurderer,â is the last word he hears Mohinder speak.

Outside panic strikes. Everything he has slowly been working for all these months is fucked. Mohinder knows. He must have been expecting and preparing all this time. Sylar hates himself for letting Mohinder catch him off guard again. He should have known what was going on, but, truth be told, a part of him enjoyed visiting with Mohinder beyond any plan. He hates admitting that Mohinder is still his damn blind spot. He is going to need help to fix this.

Gabriel?

But it has been too long since Gabriel was allowed out. He is no longer there.

Sylar walks home alone.

******** ********** ********** ********** **********

Almost as soon as Sylar has left the apartment Mohinder walks over to the telephone. Hands shaking he picks up the receiver and dials. After three rings he hears the other end pick up.

âItâs time,â Mohinder states.

jacrogers: chapter fourr.

2007-10-09T14:00:00.001-07:00

same disclaimers as before.
same characters.
same everything.

ON WITH CHAPTER FOUR!

At lunch three days after the broom closet incident, I saw Fred sitting next to one of the girls on the quidditch team, his arm draped lazily across her back. The sight made my heart throb painfully. I saw George look up at me. As his eyes locked with mine, I turned away and broke into tears. I ran to the nearest bathroom, checked the stalls for anybody, sent a silencing spell bouncing off the walls, and began to sob. Unfortunately, Iâd forgotten that being in a school of wizards, anybody could unlock the door and walk in. So as soon as Iâd heard âAlohomoraâ and the sound of the lock being broken I knew it couldnât be good.

I wrapped myself up tighter in the corner of a stall, hoping that whoever had entered would not see me. Apparently the person was looking specifically for me, because when I didnât respond to the name calling the person began to check under every stall. I bit my fist to stop from crying and prayed that the person would conveniently miss the stall I sat huddled in. Wrong.

âOi! Sophie!â Georgeâs head peaked under the stall and I inwardly groaned. Definitely not the person I wanted to see now. âWhatâs wrong?â He crawled awkwardly beneath the stall, his long legs making it difficult for him to fit comfortably.

âNothing,â I mumbled.

âWell, lighten up darling,â George said, attempting to make me feel better. If only he know how much worse I was feeling with his arms around me. If only he knew I was pretending that he was his brother. His perfect brother. I cried harder, shocking George. âSophie, really, whatâs going on?â

There was no way I could ever tell George what the problem was. So instead I said the first thing that popped into my mind. âMy dog died.â

George looked at me and raised his eyebrows. âYou donât have a dog, Sophie.â Fuck.

âUh, no, I just got it before I came back to school,
I wildly improvised. âHe was a puppy. My dad bought him for me,â

George appeared to buy this badly crafted story and patted my shoulder, allowing me to nuzzle my head into his soft sweater. Then, there was another loud crash and the door was thrown open.

âGeorge! Where the hell are you?â It was Fred. My heart stopped beating. I pressed a finger to Georgeâs lips, indicating silence. âIâm going to find you, so you might as well come out now, you twat!â Fred poked his head into the stall where we were cuddled on the ground, bumping his head on the edge of the stall in shock.

âSophie!â Fred gasped, looking from George to me and then back to George. Suddenly I realized how wrong this must look. âYouâ¦you, you slut!â My mouth dropped as Fred stood up and raced from the bathroom.

George looked at me. âWhat was that all about?â I shrugged, feigning innocence, though I felt the tears fall again.

âUh, I think, I think I just need to, I need to go talk to, to Katie,â I said, standing up and not looking at George. Lie.

âYou sure youâll be okay?â George asked, also standing up and hugging me. The same smell as Fred. I allowed myself to inhale before I realized that this boy was not Fred, it was his twin, George, the one with apparent feelings towards me, and I ripped myself out of his clutch and ran out of the bathroom, and then the Great Hall, at an alarming speed.

I ran up flights of moving stairs blindly, tears stinging my face as they had been for so many days and nights now. After much stumbling and cursing, I arrived outside the Gryffindor commons, and struggled to remember the password. My mind was such a jumble, the password appeared to have well, disappeared. I wracked my brain for any sort of bizarre phrase that could suffice as the password.

âBean loaf!â I yelled at the Fat Lady.

She chuckled. âNice try. That was last weekâs.â This caused me to cry harder.

âI need to get in here!â I cried, trying to get the Fat Lady to understand.

âNot until you give me the password.â

âGlazed pineapple,â I finally managed to find somewhere in my brain. The Fat Lady swung aside and I scrambled through the hole and up to Fred and Georgeâs dorm, where I hoped Fred would be. I flung open the door and saw Fred lying face down on his bed, red-hair vibrant against his pillow. He rolled over sensing a presence.

âWhat the hell? Get out of here!â Fred practically roared at me.

âFred! What is your problem?â I asked, suddenly taking the offensive as he had done earlier in the week.

âYouâre a slut! Thatâs my problem!â Fred yelled at me.

âWhat are you talking about?â I yelled back, slamming the door to his dorm, and making my wand move various pieces of furniture in front of it. No one would be interrupting this brutal argument.

âWhat is this? Oh, Fred. Oh, Fred. I like you so much. Why are you denying your feelings for me?â Fred imitated me angrily. âMaybe you should have added, Oh, Fred, by the way Iâm fucking your brother too; Iâm just making shit up to get you to sleep with me too. That way, I can have both of you, and neither one will know, since youâll both swear to secrecy.â

âFred! What are you talking about?â I yelled again, angry that he would ever think that.

âDonât even try and act innocent,â Fred growled angrily. âI just fucking saw you, in the bathroom, wrapped up in my brotherâs arms. I tell you I have feelings for you, and what, is this some way to rub it in my face? That this canât happen? That you have had feelings for George all along and were doing this just for pure amusement? I canât believe you, Sophie! I really canât!â

âFred,â I said, a bit more calmly than his last few sentences, constructed specifically to pierce me in all the correct places, âYouâre making things up.â

âIâm not making things up!â Fred yelled his entire face red with rage. I backed away, a bit alarmed at his mood.

âAnd I donât have feelings for George!â I yelled back at him.

âThen prove it!â Fred shouted.

âHow?â I shouted back, crossing my arms defiantly.

âCome here!â Fred howled, startling me a bit. I took small steps towards him, afraid that he would go psycho and do something ridiculous. âCome closer!â Fred bellowed, and for some reason I obeyed. âNow prove that you donât love George!â

I was utterly confused. Convinced Fred had gone mad, I backed away a few steps, deciding that making a run for it would result in at least two more hours of my life, rather than five minutes.

âSophie! Where are you going?â Fred asked.

âI donât know what you want from me!â I yelled.

âJust, just show me you donât love George!â Fred said, his face still red with anger.

âYou know I donât love George!â I said, sitting down next to Fred on his bed, afraid to touch him but half wanting to calm him with a caress.

âThen what was the bathroom episode all about?!â said Fred.

âIf you must know, Frederick, it was because of you!â I yelled, embarrassed to admit that I had been sobbing about Fred, and lied to George.

âExactly!â Fred said, defiantly. âIt was because of me. You had to run to George because I wouldnât sleep with you anymore!â

âYouâre ridiculous!â I said, scooting away.

âIâm not ridiculous! Youâre the one playing the two of us like weâre idiots!â Fred said, glaring at me. âWait till George hears about this. Just wait.â

âFred,â I pleaded. âIâm not playing you! I donât have feelings for George!â

âTHEN SHOW ME, GOD DAMMIT!â Fred bellowed.

âFINE!â I shouted back at him, taking his face in my hands and hungrily kissing him.

He bit my lips furiously, played with my tongue hungrily, explored every inch of me with a desire Iâd never seen from him before. Anger had boiled up inside of me, and my temper was raging, but I couldnât pull myself away. I could only keep roughly snogging Fred, trying to make him hurt in the process. But the more I bit away at his lips, the harder I clamped his dick, it only made him more passionate, as if the pain I was trying to cause was in fact affection. His cock was sticking straight up, trying to push its way out of his pants and I eagerly ripped off his belt and unzipped his pants, tore off his boxers and violently took his cock into my mouth, sucking at it with such ferocity I wondered if someone else was momentarily occupying my body.

âAgh! GOD DAMMIT SOPHIE!â Fred groaned. âDO IT HARDER.â He thrust himself forward into me, sliding his dick down my throat, and I roughly clenched my lips about it and massaged his shaft with a vigor I didnât know I had. âOH GOD! FUCK. FUCK!â Fred swore repeatedly, each time his dick becoming more swollen. He had begun to violently thrash, throwing things off of the table beside his bed, causing loud crashes around the room. He came violently in my mouth, shooting sticky cum directly into my throat. I gagged, but managed to swallow, as Fred panted. But there was no way I was done.

âYou want it rough?â I hissed at Fred, who was now whimpering on the bed like a frightened animal.

I could almost hear Fredâs heart beating against his chest, threatening to jump out at any given moment. âAGH! YES!â He groaned. âFUCK ME HARD.â

âAlright, turn over,â I said, rolling him so that his face was buried in his pillow, his freckled arse staring at me.

âWHATâWHATâ¦AGHHH!â Fred yelped as I shoved three fingers inside his hole, feeling around for his prostate. âSHIT. SOPHIE!â

âToo much for you, Freddie?â I asked, feeling gleeful about this strange domination I had over Fred.

âUGHH. DEEPER!â Fred bellowed into his pillow. Instead I removed my fingers, waiting for him to beg for it. He began to whimper again. âDonât stop! Please, God, donât stop. SophieâUGH!â

Iâd plunged my fingers deeper inside of him, reaching his sensitive area, causing him to reach down and begin to stroke himself, his cock throbbing again. Who knew rough play with Fred would be soâ¦erotic? I felt myself becoming hotter and hotter, a feeling inside me building. I needed him to do something, soon. I was afraid I would burst before he got around to it though.

âSophie, come here,â Fred groaned, rolling over, exposing his erect cock. Every time I looked at it, the more perverted my thoughts became. He roughly placed me on top of him, pulling down the plaid uniform skirt we were required to wear, and unbuttoning my blouse. I wasnât sure if he could do it fast enough to satisfy both of our building urges. Apparently he could though, because before I was aware what was going on, he had plunged himself inside me, so far I thought he was going to break through something.

âJesus Christ!â I yelled, gripped Fredâs shoulders as he pulled out and thrust in again.

âYou like it rough?â Fred chuckled, imitating my comment earlier.

I was too overcome with pleasure to respond with something witty or intelligible though. All I could manage was, âYES! ROUGH,â like some sort of blubbering idiot. And so Fred went, each thrust more violent than the first, until both of us were sweating, hoping the other would come soon.

âWe.â Fred pulled out of me. âNeed.â Plunged back in. âTo argue.â Out again. âMore often.â Simultaneously Fred pushed his final thrust into me, felt myself release around Fred, felt his dick go limp inside of me, and heard a loud blast and some sort of enraged yell that sounded something like âFred!â but I couldnât be sure.

âOh. Oh fuck,â Fred cursed under his breath, his eyes growing wide.

âYouâYOU SON OF A BITCH!â I heard the voice yell. I realized it was George. I felt Fred quickly pull out of me and stand up; walked toward George. Realizing he was not clothed he grabbed a blanket off the edge of his bed and wrapped it tightly around himself, sensing his brotherâs rage.

âGeorgie, please, you gotta let me at least explain,â Fred tried, though it was a useless attempt.

âThere is nothing to explain!â George yelled. âI canât believe my own brother, my best friend, would betray me like this. And you,â George pointed at me.

âDonât get her involved in this,â Fred said to George.

âWhy shouldnât I? She just fucked you, the whore,â George said angrily.

âSheâs not a whore!â Fred yelled at George. âItâs my fault, not hers.â

âYou prick!â George raised his wand toward Fred, who was currently wandless. Fred staggered back fearfully, groping for his own wand.

As George began to yell an incantation at the un-armed Fred, I readily held mine towards him and yelled âExpelliarmus!â causing Georgeâs wand to fly out of the dormitory and down the flight of stairs.

âAlright, come here,â Fred said, grabbing my hand. âJust, just hold on tight, itâll be easier to do it this way, hang onâ¦Bloody hell, I hear him coming!â Fred quickly spun on the spot mumbling âCharlieâs lair.â I felt a constricting feeling about me and held on to Fred tightly. Iâd always hated apparating, especially to distant places. Charlieâs dragon lair was all the way in Romania. We soon landed uncomfortably in a field, apparently somewhere in the mountains.

âAgh,â Fred said, standing up and wrapping himself in the blanket again. I looked down at myself and realized I was totally naked. I mumbled a spell, dressing myself and Fred, who grinned sheepishly.

âCouldnât think of another place,â Fred shrugged.

âSâokay,â I said, still in shock from the feud Iâd just witnessed.

Fred seemed to sense the shock I was feeling and decided it was a good moment to say, âI told you that would happen.â

âWell, Fred! I wasnât expecting him to randomly walk in at that point,â I said, pointedly. âThat was not even meant to happen.â

âBut it did,â Fred said cheekily.

âNow George hates me,â I said, feeling rather guilty.

âHates me too,â Fred said. He ran his long fingers through his red hair, shaking his head. âAh, Sophie, always causing problems.â

âNot brotherly hate,â I said. âMaybe pulling ridiculous pranks with you guys, but I never made you hate each other.â

âMission accomplished?â Fred tried at a laugh, but it came out as more of a gag.

âFred, Iâm sorry,â I said, sighing. I felt bad that I had come between the twins. They were the closest friend each other had and now Iâd gone and ruined it because of my infatuation with Fred.

âItâs not your fault,â Fred said, slumping against the tree we were standing under. âYou wouldnât have done that if I hadnât, hadnât basically forced you.â

âFred, you didnât force me,â I said, rolling my eyes. âStop being melodramatic. You know as well as I do that I could have stopped at any time.â

âI suppose,â Fred shrugged. âI still fucked up though. Wonder how long George will hate me for.â

âFred, really, Iâm sorry,â I said, hugging him.

I didnât know what else to say. I felt like this was indirectly my fault, if only because I had at one point dated George and then developed feelings for his twin. He looked at me; his eyes now greenish against the green sweater Iâd provided for him. I looked down towards his lips and realized that they were bleeding furiously. I leaned toward him and licked each of his lips gently, causing him to back away. He looked questioningly at me.

âYour lips, they were bleeding,â I said, blushing. âUh, my bad?â

âSeriously. Youâre a fucking monster,â Fred laughed. âWho knew you could get soâ¦bad?â

I shrugged, coloring more as I remembered the rough sex weâd had before. âI was angry.â

âI need to get you angry more often,â Fred said cheek in his voice again. âBest shag Iâve ever had. Wait, best foreplay and shag Iâve ever had.â I found myself wondering how many girls heâd fucked before, but refrained from asking the question. âThough my arse kind of hurts now,â Fred bluntly said, shifting uncomfortably. âChrist.â

I blushed uncontrollably now. âErm, sorry,â I said.

âNo worries,â Fred said. âIâve had worse.â

âI donât even want to know what you mean by that,â I said, trying not to let my mind run off with dirty images of Fred and other girls doing things that I had never done. Especially not with Fred.

âHow long will we stay here for?â I asked Fred, already worrying.

Fred shrugged. âDoesnât matter.â

âIt matters to me!â I cried. âI have things to study for, clubs to help with, kids to tutor.â

âConsider this a vacation then, darling,â Fred said, letting his hand dangle lazily over my shoulder.

âI canât,â I said. âNot when I know Iâm missing things at school.â

âAre you saying youâd rather be with an enraged George? Last time I checked, it was a bit frightening,â Fred laughed.

âTrue,â I said, sighing. I looked at my hands, still grossly covered with Fredâs dried cum. Fred picked up my right hand and licked each finger, slowly, and despite that fact that he was licking off his own juices, it was rather sexy and immediately I felt an immense need to fuck Fred senseless again.

I guess Fred saw a hunger in my eyes for he said, âLater, darling, later.â

I wasnât sure if I could wait till later. To pass the time I rolled over and snuggled into the grass, and itchy as it was, managed to fall asleep for some time. I felt Fredâs long fingers playing with my hair, and I sighed wondering if George would ever forgive him, or me. We couldnât help it, that thing we felt for each other.

eisfuchs

2007-10-09T13:35:00.001-07:00

Oh well :) Here I go giving in to the Livejournal craze! But I don't think I will use it much. This little game intrigued me, however, so I decided to create a journal to participate :D

Stolen from

cheetah_spotty

unclekage

kralle_lion

and

bigbluefox

:

One of the following statements is a lie. Please comment on this entry and tell me, which one you think it is. Comments will be hidden until tomorrow night, so everyone can take a shot in the dark :D

- I once drove 500 km with 4 passengers (two of them well over 100 kg) plus luggage in a small car through a snow storm at 120 km/h

- In elementary school I was moved up one grade because I disturbed the other children

- I once lived 6 months on white bread and cheap sausage in an empty flat with a computer, a mattress and one light bulb

- I got out of a 5000 EUR debt because the person I was owing money died

- I left home only when I was 28, after I had sex for the first time in my life

- I once started a fight with a policeman just to find out how it feels to be handcuffed for real

- I go out with only a shirt and pants at 5 Â°C

- Sometimes I go out into the forest at night, shed my clothes and sink out of sight in a mud bog

- I once crawled in 11 meters height on a 30 cm wide cable trussing with a roll of fiberglass cable on my back 15 m across a room

- I have high anxiety

penvythegreen08: mystery bag of feelings?

2007-10-09T13:13:00.001-07:00

so i'm still super exhausted, no matter what. sleeping for many hours just isn't enough for me nowadays...or so it seems. competition saturday went alright, i guess. i saw danny as we were coming outta the tunnel and back to the buses. it was cool. i met some guys, and idk if they were gay, or brothers, but yeah...they were fun. montwood's show was the shit, and bel air's show as well as hanks. they all got first divisions, and also del valle. i'm rather proud because i know they've worked their asses off. so yep, no complaints. jose's so contradicting...well, in my perspective. it's as if he wants something but then again not really. i'm...not attracted but somehow so, yes, to him. i miss him and i want him back. i know he misses me too, otherwise he wouldn't tell me and act like it. i don't know how to admit this, but i love him this one particular way which can't be described. he makes me smile and feel warm inside at times...it's indescribable what he does to me...
on the other hand, the love i feel for him isn't that like the one i still have for hugo. i mean, yes...i will say i love him because i do, and he's just the best person ever to come across my life. yes, he's the one i still dream about sharing my life with, but come on...it's just a dream. maybe it's wrong to say this, but i think i'm going to sue whomever owns the disney enterprises because according to them and walt, "dreams do come true" such as what cinderella said once. dreams don't come true, not all at least. so therefore, i'd probably get one wish:being wealthy! right? haha playing, but seriously. i love this boy with all my heart and more...and i know he knows it, but what can we do, right? the current "friend" issue in my life:
i found out a big big thing (i made it a big deal) last week, and i haven't gotten over it.
i was talking to diego, and he told me that april and him kissed...while she was going out with chris. hmmmm...i never thought she was like that. "oh, i've never cheated on him." "oh, he's so indifferent...he cheated on me."
lie after lie. i know they're together, she lied about breaking up with him, duhr. he loves her. i know! she's just, as diego said "one of those girls that sees a guy she likes and HAS to kiss him" said flores...
what does this matter? a lot! she lied to me, i took my time to help her...and she introduces me to someone she wants me to hook up with, but doesn't tell me that she's gotten to him while she's got a bf. hmmm. of course, i don't know how i got this out of diego, it was weird, but i'm sure he would've stayed quiet too. i don't think i'll ever see her like i once did, not ever feel pity for her whenever chris acts stupid. it's her fault and on her conscience...not mine. i'm still so upset about this though thanks to the fact that i really loathe people that act such a way...it's just futile for me to even explain. it's so wrong! i've thought about such a subject before, and i told diego an example...where i used myself and a "case" [fictional might i add) to explain how it was wrong. to him however, friends matter more...but he can't understand that it's wrong...well now, but not back then. hmmm...i've got a lot more on my mind but the bell's going to ring. it's a miracle i didn't fall asleep here...i'll update this later though. for the meanwhile, i must try to cool myself down (i'm cold, but the fury raving up inside of me can't alleviate me from other things...and i'm in no mood to find a ruse just to forget). gah!! >:[

goddessj

2007-10-09T12:59:00.001-07:00

Place an X in the lines to indicate which is correct about you... [ X] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish
[X ] You own perfume that cost over $60
[x] You had/have fake nails
[ X] You have more hair products than you can use
[ X] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp.
[x ] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper. Total:6 Do you:
[ X ] Have/had a hair color that is not your natural color
[ x] Have âblonde momentsâ at least once a day
[x] Constantly keep your phone at your side
[x ] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[ ] Refuse to go out in public without makeup Total: 10 DO YOU ADORE: [x] Makeup
[ X] Glitter
[x] The Color Pink
[x ] Shopping
[ x] Jewelery
[ X] Mirrors
[ ] Chick flicks
[x ] Shoes
[x] Rainbows
[ ] Unicorns
[X] Disney Movies
[ X] Candles
[ x] Flowers
[ X] Stuffed Animals
[ x] Purses
[ ] Boots
[ x] Starbucks Total: 24 DO YOU SAY: [x] Whatever.
[x] Oh my gosh/goodness/god
[ ] Hun/honey
[ ] Thatâs hot
[ ] Dunzo
[x ] Darling
[ ] Psh
[X ] Cutie
[ ] Hottie
[ x] Totally
[ ] Fer Shur
[ x] Fabulous
[x ] hell ya
[ X] like
[ x]duh Total: 33 Do You Read: [ x]Cosmopolitan
[ ] Cleo
[ ] Marie Claire
[ ] Elle
[ ] Vogue
[ ] Dolly
[ ] Girlfriend
[ ] Teen Vogue
[ ] Famous
[ ] New idea
[ ] NW
[ ] Madison
[ ] Who
[ ] PerezHilton.com Total:34 Have you Seen These: [x] Legally Blonde
[ ] Elizabethtown
[x] Mean Girls
[ ] Now & Then
[ ] The Notebook
[ ] A Walk to Remember
[x]Sweet Home Alabama
[ ] Where The Heart Is
[ ] Just my luck
[ ] John Tucker Must Die
[x ] CenterStage
[x] Bring it On
[x] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] Mona Lisa Smile Total:40 Are you/ have you been Addicted toâ¦ [ ] LOST
[ x] Americaâs Next Top Model
[ ] Project Runway
[ ] Desperate Housewives
[ X] The Simple Life
[] Next pussycat doll
[ ] 8th & Ocean
[ ] Greyâs Anatomy
[ ] The O.C.
[ x] Sex And The City
[ ]Laguna Beach/The Hills
[x] Nip/Tuck
[ ] Gilmore Girls
[ ] Veronica Mars
[ ] One tree hill
[x] Friends
Total:45 ALL TOTAL: 45 COUNT UP HOW MANY YOU CHECKED. MULTIPLY BY 2
THEN REPOST I AMâ¦% BARBIE

arabella_hope: hola

2007-10-09T12:41:00.001-07:00

UGH. Throat tastes like crap (not that, you know, I've ever eaten crap, just. ICK), but I don't feel horrid. I guess I just sound it. So I watched this Smiley Face/4.20 movie last night - and laughed a bit cuz it opens with the main character on her laptop on the couch all, "Between unemployment and money from my parents I make due." AHAA, who was taping my life in Buffalo and why did *I* not have my own geeky J-Kraz? (seriously SOOO geeky. Even Dwight would be appalled by his character.) Also, who's handing our REO Speedwagon music licensing all over the place? Man. I'm having mad bad computer issues. My power cord WILL NOT get my laptop to charge unless I twist it a certain way and weigh it down for the connection to hold - and I've tried another cord and it's actually the receptacle or whatever ON the computer. It's suckage to the highest degree. I realized I never talked about my DL'd shows or reacted in my usual flaily way. SO: I seriously don't have much recollection right now except for the following... - FIRE GUY! and Kelly oh my Kelly. Fake pregnancies! Way to go - and her lil headshake...such glee.
- DWIGHT AND GARBAGE. I swear, I squealed and flapped so much that my aunt and cousin (who were in the room with me and my headphones) looked at me like I was INSANE. And yet I've STILL to find an icon! What is THAT nonsense???
- I'm pretty damn sure there was more (besides Dwangela woe!), but now I can't recall. **What's up with our online office, BTW? Still staying where we set up shop?
Will you laugh at me when I admit that the end of the episode made me cry? Cuz it did omg, BOTH times I watched it. Gah - LOVED the opening and the choral version of 'Glamorous' that played over the montage of everyone getting ready (is there a music community somewhere? Did anyone rip that?) - and hgdjks uniforms! I am shallow enough to say that I want hot hot porny fic JUST because of the whole uniform thing. Tie sex, plz and thank you! I still can't get on board with the Dan/Serena ship, though I did like the parallel they drew between Dan punching Chuck in the first ep to protect his sister and Serena taking the fall for her brother. That was cute - tho her brother freaks me out a bit. And Blaire/Chuck and Nate/Dan and OMG, there HAS to be room for Chuck/Nate because the boy is sleeping in the same room as these orgies, IS HE NOT??? Gah, so much room to play! But yes. Blaire being put in her place by the brother at the end was some nice high drama and the letter reading at the end, just. It SLAYED me. I could likely be persuaded to stand behind some Blaire/Serena too. I NEED FIC! Omg fandom, create yourself for my pleasure! The banter, c'mon! Tell me it's not fun and inspirational. Back to shallow - I really do enjoy Blaire more and she's got that preppy style...but I def like Serena's better. IDK, it fluctuates between scenes. Whatever, PREPPY PRETTY PEOPLE TO PORN! Aaaaand. That's about it. Until tomorrow afternoon and the new ep!!! While I'm flailing over pretty...have some more! I want RPF too, ya know. & All larger than I made em and snagged from
http://www.gossipgirlfan.org/gallery/index.php That enough for now? I feel like that's enough ;)

buycar: Used Car Dealer. Wrestler Smacks S.C. Car Dealer With Lawsuit

2007-10-09T04:20:00.001-07:00

Used Car Dealer Wrestler Smacks S.C. Car Dealer With Lawsuit

car stereo used car philadelphia buy used car car seat used car houston used car dallas car online national car rental car repair used car newark

used car dealer

Professional wrestler Ric Flair is suing a South Carolina car dealership for imitating the Nature Boy and his well-known slogans to sell cars.

Professional wrestler Ric Flair is suing a Columbia car dealership for imitating the Nature Boy and his well-known slogans to sell cars.

The Nature Boy says a car dealership is imitating him and his trademark Whoo in TV commercials. He wants to toss them over the ropes.

A used car dealership will move into the old Emporium location at Kelso's Three Rivers Mall, filling a 42,000-square-foot anchor space that has been vacant four years.

Plain Dealer Reporter. the scene of a traffic accident on Jennings Road and found a woman trapped under a car. The super-strong Schultz got down on the ground, lay on his back and used.There was talk of his momma and daddy and life as the son of a used-car dealer in small-town Tennessee, and of being captivated by Barry Goldwater's The Conscience of a Conservative. There was even a flash of the good ol' boy in. Professional wrestler Ric Flair is suing a South Carolina car dealership for imitating the Nature Boy and his well-known slogans to sell cars. Flair said Freedom Suzuki of Columbia used his persona without permission in radio and. used car dealer

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notrealithink

2007-10-09T04:02:00.001-07:00

PLAYER DETAILS

Name (or alias): Ally.

LJ: N/A.

Email: allyindicates@hotmail.com

AIM SN: âally indicatesâ.

Referred By:

<lj-cut text="The Application">

BASE CHARACTER PROFILE -- PLEASE NOTE THAT THESE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE WORD ANSWERS (Except where noted.)

Name: Abigail Jane Douglas.

LJ:

Played By/Physical Description: For Abigail Douglas, itâs all about matching. Oh, she adores her matching cardigans and blouses, not to mention anything floral is perfectly marvellous, and who said making sure your pyjamas colour co-ordinated with your bed spread was too much? Certainly not her! Yes, it can be said without hesitation, that the girlâs entire wardrobe seems to bring to mind the Stepford wives. But thatâs the way she likes it. She LIKES having twelve different pearl necklaces, and fitted robes in a colour maybe just a bit too bright for the naked eye, and donât ever try to tell her that no oneâs ever going to see the fact her underwear is the exact shade of her eye-shadow. Unless rigorously criticized, the girl is routinely pleased with her appearance. She may not be stunning, nor ever quite match up to the (always admired) presence of the beauty queens on her favourite magazines; but with expressive facial features and head of ânaturally lightened by the sun, really!â blonde hair, sheâs fortunate looking. Which she should be, considering the time and effort placed into her looks each morning. To Abigail, first impressions reflect everything, and this belief is rigorously placated through her slavery to current fashions and manner in which she ruthlessly purges her wardrobe each season from âundesirablesâ. (PB: RACHEL NICHOLS.)

Age/Birthdate: Sixteen. February 18^th, 1990.

Gender: Female.

Wand:

Blood: Halfblood.

Birthplace/Location: Newcastle , England .

Status or Class: Upper Middle class.

Pet Name/Species:

OWL Scores (For 1-7th Years):

Astronomy: A.

Charms: E.

DADA: P.

Herbology: P.

History of Magic: D.

Potions: D.

Transfiguration: A.

Divination: E.

Care of magical creatures: A.

NEWT Scores: (6th, 7th Years and Adults Only. Put N/A if not applicable): N/A

Astronomy:

Charms:

DADA:

Herbology:

History of Magic:

Potions:

Transfiguration:

Optional Other Subject #1:

Optional Other Subject #2:

Optional Other Subject #3:

10 Words to describe your character: Flighty, boisterous,

EXTENDED APPLICATION -- PLEASE DO AT LEAST A PARAGRAPH ON EACH OF THESE, UNLESS THEY ARE STATED TO BE OPTIONAL

Personality: In her floral cardigan and affinity for chintz, it would be easy to overlook Abigail Douglas as yet another girl with no other desire than to please her parents, marry the first man of good family that comes her way, and present the intelligence of a warthog to the greater part of Britain. And, in that assumption, you would be right. She does desperately want to do right by her parents, and marriage is more important to her than actual happiness, and in most cases she really does appear to have never flipped open a book thicker than the latest âWitch Weeklyâ; but thereâs also something (in all its clichÃ©), just that bit more to the pearl wearing blonde. First of all, it should probably be said that she never going to obtain any sort of academic praise. Abigailâs just not that intelligent. Education, sheâll cry, is for ugly girls, girls who canât rely on their looks, and girls who are doomed to spend their lives as matrons; no, ask the girl on anything remotely related to a scholastic subject past basic household charms or Divination, and youâll be answered with a charmingly blank smile. Because in her mind, sheâs just not supposed to know anything beyond keeping her future husband happy and running an ordered household. Both of which are tasks sheâll manage with distinct flourish. This isnât to say that Abigail is as dim-witted as a pile of bricks, nor is she ever quite as frivolous as she might appear; but thereâs one thing for certain, the day you hold a conversation with her that includes intellectual commentary on a novel that isnât romantic, is the day pigs start taking to the sky. Of course, for all her academic density, sheâs shockingly gifted at relating to others, at easing people into talking and remembering precisely whatâs been said. It makes her an undisputed source of garnered intelligence, and an undisputed gossip. With a rather large mouth and ear for rumours, itâs no surprise that the blonde can be tactlessly glib around those who havenât been raised to value the same things that she does. Inform her that youâve just received a promotion? âOh, donât worry, dear,â sheâll tell you, âmarriage isnât for EVERY girl in their twenties.â Itâs not done out of spite, or any particular malice, itâs simply the way sheâs been raised, and the fact she can be completely ignorant to the fact that not everyone wants what she wants. If you were to point out to her that perhaps a happy family, white picket fence and taking tea thrice a week wasnât on the life-agenda of every girl, sheâd never presume that to be so because those dreams arenât the ultimate crux of happiness, oh no! No, there must be something wrong with you for pointing such a thing out, but donât worry, sheâs sure youâll find the right man some day, and in fact, wouldnât you just love to go on a date with her cousin?

Strengths: Both magical and personality:

Weaknesses: A people-pleaser to the extreme, itâs likely Abigailâs greatest fault that she canât bear to disappoint those around her; sheâll never be a leader, and instead aims to placate those around her in the best manner she can. Of course, whilst her interpretation of pleasing others results in her providing baked goods and giving âconstructive criticismâ on the state of your drapery to wall paper colour faux pas, sheâs consequently horrendously passive aggressive when her sensibilities are riled. Sheâll never deliberately start a fight, nor ever approach someone when upset; but when her perpetual cheer and rose-tinted view of the world is disturbed, her anger is let loose in terms of backhanded gossip and great amounts of baking.

Sadly, Abigailâs âangerâ is a trivial thing to witness, and effortless to appease, and whilst sheâd like to think that sheâs in charge of her life, that sheâs âmaster of her own destinyâ, that just like the heroines in the romantic novels she so admires itâs her thatâs chosen the manner in which she lives, it simply isnât the case. Despite all appearances of being a strong figure and being completely oblivious and too dense to recognize the criticism of others, the pinnacle fault in the blonde could be summed up in the fact that when purchasing groceries and being shorted on change? Sheâd never presume to point the matter out, just in case it was to cause mortal offence. Sheâll pretend not to notice the faults of those around her, and will make a convincing charade at being âjust lovelyâ, rather than ever presuming that something in her life isnât the way it should be.

Fears/Motivations:

History:

<s>Significant Relationships:

Family: Optional:

Friends: Optional:

Other: Optional: </s>

Special Considerations: N/A

COMMUNITY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS -- ONLY ANSWER THE SECTION APPLICABLE TO YOUR CHARACTER

Hogwarts:

Year:

House:

Why are they in that house?

Position: (Subject to mod approval)

Atlas:

Prior School :

What house were they in? (Or would they have been in had they gone to Hogwarts?):

Why were they in that house? (Or why would they have been in that house?):

Occupation:

<s>If this is your 4th(+) character (Hogwarts and Atlas), please link to recent activity (or attempts at activity) for your other current characters</s>

MOD-ONLY QUESTIONS -- THESE WILL ONLY BE KNOWN TO THE MODS, please answer in a COMMENT to your application

Character Secrets:

Character Alliance :

</lj-cut>

shigatsu_no

2007-10-09T03:34:00.001-07:00

okay, took me 20 minutes but i successfully sent out 3 emails on my cell phone in english/japanese, ahaha...

anyway...last night Rita invited me to Tsubahachi, and i wanted to go, but she was going with Alex, the other German student, and meeting her tutor, Tomo, who is fluent in German but doesn`t speak a word of English, so i felt like i`d be imposing if i went....but then i dragged Kimmie along, and we bumped into her ~~rather tall and handsome~~ Japanese friend, Shu and he came along.

went back to the dorm afterward and watched Queen of the Damned with Marielle, Aga and Razel...Julie would be proud.

today we got the results of the placement test back and some of us were peeved but not surprised to be placed in elementary 2...went to the class and covered crap we`ve all known since...forever.   bought the text book and skimmed through it and was like `ya, i know all this crap`...it`S a complete repeat of everything I know...i guess it`ll be nice to have the review but seriously, i couldn`t have done ANY better on the exam, and neither could the others and i don`t think the placement is fair....fortunately i can also take Intermediate I classes as well, so at least that counts for something.

so my courses are as follows: Elementary II Japanese A,B,C, Intermediate I Japanese A,B,C, and Japanese Culture and Education. 7 classes. 14 credits.   i dropped the Japanese Society and Gender Issues and the Seminar on Japanese Social Studies, so that i could take more language classes without going crazy from being in 9 classes (which apparently in Europe AND Japan, is too few of classes..o well, i`m a wussy American...)

also, i withdrew a hundred bucks worth of yen today and spent nearly all of it on the following:
2 textbooks=about $50 together
about $15 at the 100 yen shop on school supplies + a really cool card for a certain friend of mine who will know who she is when she gets it ;)
about $15 on groceries (which are so freaking expensive by the way...you do NOT get your money`s worth!)
and finally, another $10 on a card for my host family, drawing pencils, a postcard for another somebody who will know who she is when she gets it :D, and a set of stickers

...so...not much left in my pocket...ahhh! Japan is an expensive country.

ohhh, by the way, I am doing the Mihara homestay this Friday and Saturday! i`m actually looking forward to it!! we`re visiting an elementary school and then in the evening, staying with one of the student`s family!   i have a feeling it `s going to be cute! since the girls in my dorm ate all the Sees (with my consent of course), i thought i`d get a card, and with my somewhat decent drawing skills, i`d sketch on the inside a collage of Californian and Hawaii things....what do you think?

this weekend is also sake festival, woohoo!   by the way, i decided i like sake, but only cold and fruity flavored :p

uhhh, what else....so today, there was a mob of about 200 high school students wandering around campus, and me and Rikki walked through them, and sure enough, we got a ton of attention for being `gaijin`, hahaha! it was amusing!   this group of boys who seriously looked like they were 13, but were actually 15 (high school freshman age in Japan, right?) stopped us and attempted and totally FAILED at trying to speak english to us, so we whipped out the Japanese on them, hahahaha!! their reaction was so funny!! they got all surprised and started laughing...anyway, we conversed with them for a little bit in english/japanese...it was cute!

i`ve been talking to Aya, the crazy Japanese girl, and she said she wants to be my conversation partner, so we`re meeting up next Tuesday! she`s literally an anime stereotype, i swear to god...she`s like the bouncy, spinning around in circles, giving people type of hugs type of character...but she`s a real person...hahaha, it`s odd yet endearing.

i`ve been talking to Jun, the Korean guy, a lot too! maybe i`ll see more of him soon :)

neongreengeisha: Revelation: George Clooney is sexy. But Junjin is still my main bitch.

2007-10-09T03:11:00.001-07:00

I didn't realize until recently just how sexalicious George Clooney is. His only problem is his name. It is difficult for me to take a man named George seriously. George is such a goofy-sounding name. Nonetheless, he is quite a piece of eye candy. Up until recently, my mom thought he was gay. Back in the day, she was friends with one of his relatives (Was it a cousin? Hell if I can remember. I'll have to ask again sometime. But for anyone who didn't know, he and his family are from right across the river from Cincy.) and I said to her one day, "Since you were friends with one of his relatives, wouldn't you know if he was gay or not? Don't you think she would have mentioned something about it?" She didn't have an answer to that one, but now that I think back on it, it isn't particularly true. Telling people about a family member being gay isn't something people usually do unless they are dedicated gossippers. But, back to the point, he's amazingly sexy and I wonder why I've just noticed as of late. He's one of the only men in Hollywood I find attractive (maybe because of the lack of Asian actors?) I used to think Matt Damon was the shit but I was 17 and I thought every person with a dick was hot. Now he looks sorta...retarded? Deformed? I don't know, but his facial structure is strange. When I was like 3 years old (literally O_O No joke) I was deeply in love with Johnny Depp. I used to watch him on 21 Jump Street. Among my other loves in those tenders years were Richard Greeco (did I spell that right?), George Michael, and The New Kids on the Block. A little man-crazy wasn't I? I musta been a horny lil tot. Kinda weird. Johnny Depp has managed to stay hot. I still think he's hella sexy but George Michael??? What was that about?! Other than him, I had pretty good taste for such a little girl. We went to the mall yesterday and Amy bought Cameron THE most adorable Nemo costume at the Disney Store. I so can't wait to take some photos of him in it. He's going to be the cutest lil fishie around on Halloween. Darius and I got into a monster arguement last night. I needed to use the phone, he's a big bitch about everything and wouldn't let me use it, insisting I use his cell phone, I yell at him, he gets an attitude, I don't put up with it, he gets mad, tells me he hates me so much and hopes I'd die, and blah blah blah blah blah blah. The usual bullshit. One day, I think I'll go off and beat his ass. But then I'm running for the life because he'll get up and give it right back to me x 30. o_O The kid is dangerous.

thisissirius (in ninth_wonders): ed. 330

2007-10-09T02:47:00.001-07:00

News
Milo grows up on 'Heroes' posted by Challenges and Ficathons
announces Chapter Thirteen: The Fix // challenge.
announces challenge 47 Fanfic: gen
Love, Angie [Angela, her parents, Dallas, PG] by
Nothing Is As It Seems [11/?] [Sylar, Mohinder, Heather, PG-13] by
Mistake [Sylar, Sarah Ellis, PG-13] by
Hidden [HRG, Claude, G] by
No Catherine of Aragon [Angela, Dallas, PG-13] by Fanfic: het
Souljacker [1/?] [Peter/Claire, Peter/Nathan, Peter/Claude, Peter/Sylar, R] by
All is Full of Love [Claire/Kensei, PG-13] by
When it Changed [Claire/HRG, PG-13] by
Not the Same [1/?] [Claire/Peter, PG] by
Disarm you with a Smile [Claire/West, Claire/Peter, Claire/Sylar, R] by Fanfic: slash
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi? [2/3] [Sylar/Mohinder, PG] by
An Unexpected Caller [Matt/Sylar, R] by
Souljacker [1/?] [Peter/Nathan, Peter/Claude, Peter/Sylar, Peter/Claire R] by
Hiding From You [Peter/Nathan, PG-13] by
No Matter of Chance [Mohinder/Nathan/Starbuck/Gaeta, NC-17] by & [Crossover with Battlestar: Galactica]
We Become Strangers, You and I [20/?] [Peter/Claude, PG-13] by
Making a Mark [Peter/Nathan, PG-13/R] by
Seeking the Beginning [Matt/Mohinder, Molly, PG] by
Forgive Me (Not) [Peter/Sylar, PG-13] by
Peter's Diary Version 2.0 [3/?] [Peter/Claude, PG-13] by
Sojourn [Matt/Mohinder, PG13] by
Defining Devotion [Nathan/Peter, 17+] by
Worthy One [Sylar/Sylar, R] by [spoilers for 2x03] Icons
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posts links to her fanfic.net fics
posts a Caption!Game

elementblue: [Fic] On Capturing

2007-10-09T02:26:00.001-07:00

Title: On Capturing
Rating: G
Word Count: 900
Character(s): Shishido Ryou, Ohtori Choutarou
Pairing: Shishido/Ohtori
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: Choutarou teaches Shishido the good points in capturing.
A/N: Sorry if itâs confusing. Especially if you donât know the basics of Go. The basic objective in the game of Go is to have the most territory at the end of the game (which is when no further moves are possible on the playing board). Itâs a strategy game that involves capturing as a way to take over the other playerâs land. Itâs simpler than it sounds but difficult to be good atâ¦ and yeah.

Itâs kind of lame but hopefully kind of not at the same time because it has Shishido in it. And Shishidoâs not lame. D:

I rated the fic G, but is it really? I mean, Shishido says damn a lot (damneverything!Shishido is featured today) and itâs not âTâ-worthy word for me, but it might be for some people right? If it is for you, I sincerely apologize.

On Capturing

âShishido-san.â

Shishido Ryou looked up into his kouhaiâs warm brown eyes and propped his elbow on the Go table, resting his chin in his palm. They were at Choutarouâs grandfatherâs house, currently lounging in the empty living room.

âWhat?â

It was more of a statement rather than an inquiry.

âIf you move there, Iâll just move here to capture.â

Shishido twitched and lifted his head off his hands to stare at the board in front of him. He opened his mouth to reply but stopped when Choutarou pointed out the subject of his previous statement. Damn this stupid game. Shishido scowled lightly and placed a piece down to counter his kouhaiâs.

âI donât get this game,â Shishido growled, midnight eyes narrowing at the ceiling before returning to the board on the table. âWhyâs it so difficult? Lame.â

Choutarou laughed happily, forcing an embarrassed, yet pleased blush onto Shishidoâs face. He placed a stone on the board and gestured for Shishido to make his move. âItâs a territory-strategic kind of game, Shishido-san. Itâs supposed to be challenging and fun.â

âIt definitely has the challenging part down pat,â Shishido mumbled scrutinizing his partnerâs recent move. He didnât get it. Well, he did, but the game seemed pretty damn pointless and wasnât at all as exciting as Choutarou told him it would be. âItâs lacking the fun, though.â

He moved to place his piece on the board.

âShishido-san, if you move there, youâll set yourself up for a capture.â

Damn this game and its dastardly skill at always putting him at a position to be captured. He quickly withdrew his hand and eyed the board once more. He felt Choutarouâs eyes on him and fidgeted in his chair.

âThere,â he said placing his stone down with a triumphant flourish. âNow if you donât move to black, youâll be captured!â

Choutarou took a quick glance at his move and automatically moved in another spot. A spot that Shishido hadnât expected heâd move to. Shishido scowled and crossed his arms, catching his kouhaiâs attention. Wasnât Choutarou even fazed about his stone being captured? Damn Choutarou and the way he was just too good at this game.

âSo youâre just going to let me capture it?â Shishido said slowly, looking at Choutarou warily. Choutarou chuckled and lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. Shishido ignored the funny flippy-feeling he got in his stomach. Damn Choutarou and his ability to be sexy without knowing it.

âSure,â Choutarou said pointing to the board. âI told you Go is a territory game. I could attempt to save that stone, Shishido-san. But a better move would be to sacrifice it and play here, to expand my territory.â

Shishido didnât get it. Well, he kind of did, but not really. More not really, if anything.

âWhatâs the point in capturing then?!â

Shishido placed his stone down and captured Choutarouâs âsacrificeâ stone to emphasize his point.

âWell, capturing is usually only done to gain more territory or to defend your claimed area, Shishido-san,â Choutarou explained, brown eyes staring at the ceiling in thought. Damn Choutarou and his ability to be cute without knowing it.

Shishido ran a hand through his hair in frustration. âAnd my move doesnât do that?â

Shishido gestured at the board with a raised eyebrow. Choutarou looked him in the eye with a somber expression.

âNot really,â Choutarou replied honestly. âI guess there could be advantages later, but at the moment, going thereââlong, slender musician fingers pointed at a spot on the boardââwould be a better move since you can claim that corner as yours.â

âCapturing is stupid,â Shishido grumbled, letting Choutarou move his piece to the new spot the younger boy pointed out. He handed Choutarou back the captured stone and glared at the Go board. âItâs pointless. All kinds of captures. Like capturing butterflies and stray dogs and those little beetles under the rocks at the elementary school because thatâs considered animal abuse. And like stupid aniki capturing the hearts of all the brainless girls, canât he chose smarter girls to woo? And like how Atobe captures everyoneâs attention with his lame strut and stupid snapping. And howââ

Shishido was promptly cut off by Choutarouâs soft lips capturing his.

âI. Um. Well, that is,â Shishido managed to get out, cheeks flushed and wearing a slightly dazed expression. He motioned to the stones then to the Go board, trying to put together a coherent thought. âGreat game, Choutarou.â

âIt is, isnât it, Shishido-san!â Choutarou remarked happily. âAbout capturing, what were you saying?â

Choutarouâs tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and Shishido forced himself not to climb over the table to jump his kouhai and kiss him senseless. Damn Choutarou and the way he had Shishido wrapped around his finger.

âCapturing my lips,â Shishido said leaning back with an amused tone. âClever, Choutarou, real clever.â

Choutarou blinked. âIs it stupid?â

Shishido smirked and crawled over to the taller boy, who watched him unmoving, with large, innocent brown eyes. Shishido made his way between his partnerâs legs and placed his hands on Choutarouâs shoulders, his lips hovering over Choutarouâs lips.

âNo,â Shishido replied, his lips grazing over his kouhaiâs teasingly. He smirked inwardly when Choutarou let out a barely audible moan at the contact. âMaybe capturing isnât all that stupid or pointless.â

And with that, Shishido leaned forward to capture Choutarouâs lips in another kiss.

propertysales: Tennessee Lake Property. Local Business

2007-10-09T02:12:00.001-07:00

Tennessee Lake Property Local Business

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tennessee lake property million ($172,284.to North Carolina, in many cases, and less often, Tennessee.. recently purchased a 180,000-square-foot MetroCenter structure with a group of investors including Tennessee. The property is situated right across the lake from the Titans practice area, and the new owners have discussed using some of that retail.Greetings everyone and welcome to the Severe Weather Team 9 Weather Blog. If you have a passion for weather, you've come to the right place. We'll use this forum to discuss Ohio Valley weather in greater detail and answer as many weather questions as.. to principal residences for a time and sold, only the period when the property was. The Founders Club begin in the $300,000s for a 200-foot-deep site with lake. flesh with a few hundred of the 90,000 people assembled for the Florida-Tennessee.

The governor's idea to raise severance taxes and use the money for highways is shrewd politics. I'll be stunned if the increase gets through the state Senate in 2009. I also expect voters to pass it in 2010.

I. Call to Order. II. Pledge of Allegiance/Invocation. III. Minute Approval.

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Penis Health | Sex Organs Are More Sensitive Than Other Parts Of Body

treebrain: Aiding In The Survival Of An Internet Meme

2007-10-09T01:45:00.001-07:00

"If you'd like to play along, let me know. I'll pick 7 interests of yours that I'd like to know more about, and you will write a journal entry about them in your journal and invite your friends to comment and so on and so forth. Don't just tell me about your interests in a comment to my journal...you've got to play fair and put it in your journal, so others can play along." I stole this meme, illegally, immorally and without permission, from . Gravity's Rainbow: This is the most intense book I've ever read. It took me about two months to slog through it, reading a bit every day. It's a long book, but so's the Illuminatus! trilogy, and that I've read through several times. Gravity's Rainbow is a completely different experience from any ordinary book. I consider it less a book and more a form of psychic parasite. For months afterwards I found my general mental state skewed markedly toward the surreal, and even such things as my word choices and writing style took on a Pynchonesque affectation. I felt basically like I was married to the book for as long as I was reading it. It was during a very strange and unpleasant period in my life as well. I was psychically raw and vulnerable, which further facilitated its parasitism on my mind. In short, I can't recommend it highly enough to anyone who wants something more than light reading. Especially if you like massive debaucherous orgies on the decks of cruise ships, lovingly-rendered descriptions of sexual coprophagia, characters randomly and unaccountably bursting into song, and a giant Godzilla adenoid which can only be appeased by having shovelfuls of cocaine heaved onto it. Moral Relativism: I think the idea of inherently right and wrong actions is one of the most detrimental ideas in history. I would call it a prerequisite for complete self-knowledge for one to understand that no such designations exist except as conventions. Not saying I've achieved complete self-knowledge, but as one seeking it, I like to tell myself that throwing out traditional morality was a good move. Of course, once one has rid oneself of the pernicious myth of right and wrong, one can go about constructing a working moral code for oneself, and that is fine and dandy. Snails: I've always had a particular affinity for snails. I like the fact that when mammals are huddled in their dens to get away from the damp and cold, snails make their way out to attend to their important business. I occasionally let them crawl around on my hands, having made sure to wash off any offending salt. I enjoy the feeling of their feet and their rasping mouthparts as they try to make food of me. Whenever I see them out on the sidewalk, I pause to move as many as I can to safety. Most people don't think twice about stepping on them, so I've taken it upon myself to be their protector. When I was three or four I peeled one, not understanding that its shell was part of its body, and felt terrible about it when I learned I had killed it. Since then, I've been working off my snail karma. This is the reason why I'm such a weirdo. Forgiveness: I try not to hold grudges. I think it's a bad habit. If I actively have something against a person I've ever been at all close to, or even a person who someone I'm close to is close to, I feel like something is wrong. Most slights simply aren't severe or important enough to harbor animosity about. I see enough social strife between people, and I prefer to stay Swiss about it. Unfortunately I've found that even this preference can get me into trouble. Pain in the ass, that. General Aimlessness: Everybody seems to be rushing around all the time, trying to stay busy and upwardly-mobile, in order to justify their existence on the planet. I say, fuck that. I didn't ask to be here, more than half the time I'd prefer not to be anyway, and so I see no point in making a space for myself in the world. I think that most ambition is mere ego-noise... or at least, it would be for me. Other people might have good reasons for doing what they do, but I know that if I were doing the same things, it would be out of some vain desire to conform and appear as less of an anomaly. For me, aimlessness is the only sincere option. Anything else would be a damnable contrivance. Superdeterminism: Put simply: determinism is the stance that the order of things is determined by the order of prior occurrences, and that the current state causally and predictably determines all future states. There was one past, there is one present, and there is one possible future. This is, as far as I see it, a patently idiotic hypothesis. Superdeterminism then, is basically the idea that things are as they are, however that happens to be, because they could not be otherwise. This may seem to contain a contradiction, but it is one easily assimilated. If an infinite set of possible states exists in superposition, then the current observable state is a statistical inevitability. I think it's a very elegant idea. It allows free will and chance to mesh amicably with notions of fate or destiny. It imagines the universe as a clockwork mechanism, but one so vast and complex that its motions cannot be reliably predicted. Tardigrade: Tardigrades are amazing. They've been around since the Cambrian, they are their own phylum and not related closely to any other extant life forms, they live on all seven continents, they can survive in extreme conditions that would kill other life, and they can be completely dehydrated and blown around as dust, to be reanimated upon contact with water. The fact that they are also known as Water Bears and Moss Piglets only makes them more awesome. There are tardigrades on you now.

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my_ancient_eyes: I wonder what she looks like. . . naked. I mean-- I wonder what she cooks like . . . naked.

cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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cheriegirl: Lust. Caution

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edijason: Wee Play, Printable Communication Games, Play The Best RPG Strategy PC Games!

Stick RPG, Strategy RPG Games - Presented by AddictingGames

Sryth: The Age of Igtheon (TM) - Fantasy RPG

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edijason: Wee Play, Printable Communication Games, Play The Best RPG Strategy PC Games!

Stick RPG, Strategy RPG Games - Presented by AddictingGames

Sryth: The Age of Igtheon (TM) - Fantasy RPG

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sulkyblue: New Season: Gossip Girl

acnemedicine: Acne Cure. Mysterious Disease Affecting Women

Acne Cure Mysterious Disease Affecting Women

Acne Cure Mysterious Disease Affecting Women

disolucion: Ugh..

verinvaldez: Rilo Kiley's "Under the Blacklight"

erdbeerbox: CROWS ZERO

softly_sweetly: Fic: 'What Neville Did' 9/10 KS/NL NC17

jazonwhatever

not_so_brave

godly_pr: Stolen from the girl that thinks I'm her dad...

E2: The Everything Test 2

xx_bang

hadeumdi: Are you game?!

your_nonentity: LOL this icon has nothing to do with the actual post.

jackiesjunkie

lughtaj

lydia_diane

lollirot_xx: my letter to him

riles298: today is feeling stressful

cathalin: Halloween

foxiefyre: Life Lesson

Within this post you will find a lesson I had to learn the hard way and a fantsy that would have never worked out.May 10th, 2007 11:06am Manic Happiness...

April 7th, 2007 11:0am Blissful...

March 23rd, 2007 856am Feeling the Ache of Another...

March 22nd, 2007 5:40pm Going crazy

March 12th, 2007 2:52pm Enduring...

February 09:43 am Numbness...

03:15pm Trapped in Thought....

2/22/07 09:25 am Good or Bad Choices?

2/21/07 04:03 pm tate of Confusion...

hoomygoth

canonind: porcariadedia

lunabee34: SPN fic: Do it Like This; Sam/Dean

randomcrap: Another nudge!

creyewolf

x_killmyheart_x: Wanting More

npolean_n_rags: sometimes, I'd just as soon not be part of this club

aikodestiny: 'S Wonderful, and all that follows

jacrogers: ch 5.

levitatethis: Timelines: The Future is Now (3/4)

jacrogers: chapter fourr.

eisfuchs

penvythegreen08: mystery bag of feelings?

goddessj

arabella_hope: hola

buycar: Used Car Dealer. Wrestler Smacks S.C. Car Dealer With Lawsuit

Used Car Dealer Wrestler Smacks S.C. Car Dealer With Lawsuit

Used Car Dealer Wrestler Smacks S.C. Car Dealer With Lawsuit

notrealithink

shigatsu_no

neongreengeisha: Revelation: George Clooney is sexy. But Junjin is still my main bitch.

thisissirius (in ninth_wonders): ed. 330

elementblue: [Fic] On Capturing

propertysales: Tennessee Lake Property. Local Business

Tennessee Lake Property Local Business

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Within this post you will find a lesson I had to learn the hard way and a fantsy that would have never worked out.

May 10th, 2007 11:06am Manic Happiness...