вторник, 16 октября 2007 г.



This entry is an acct of the days leading up to and beyond the play party and munch on sat. There are some details but not a blow by blow of the play. I was there I don't need a blow by blow.

Hello folks
There has been something missing from this journal the last few days. I have found it hard to write about the planning for the BB after party. Im not sure why. I mean it would be easy to say it was because I was worried about her reading it. Im not sure if that's the only reason though. 
Wed - I got the bag out and cleaned the toys as best I could. I got a spray bottle and used a 1 part bleach 9 part water solution and sprayed everything, and wiped each thing down with a damp cloth. I don't know if that did a perfect job, but it was the best I could do.
Friday - I spoke to babygirl -- really it was sat morning really early and one of the last things she said was that she might play with BD when she saw him. My stomach gets tight just thinking about it now. Sighs  - on some level I think the minute I don't care at all with whom she plays or if she plays with others at all will truly be the moment we are done as a couple. When she called on the way to school she found out that her sister wasn't going to be there and she was counting on money from her to be able to go to see BD. She said she wasn't going. I figured that either she would still meet up with her sister or the BD would give her the money or he would meet somewhere close to where she was and they would talk in the car.
I shaved my head that morning and nicked myself pretty good. The day was not starting well. I took the boys to karate and met cindy after for lunch at hometown buffet. After I finished my "first plate" Tyler decided projectile vomiting would be fun, not once not twice, but three times as I rushed him toward the bathroom.
Needless to say my stomach decided it wanted no more food. I soon noticed that in addition to the wall the floor and a waiter or two, tyler had also redecorated my boots. As we were leaving I saw that she had sent a text msg saying that she was there. -- More stomach flops-- We stopped to gas up both cars as we left and decided to get arnett some pants at sears -- in the men's department. No more boys sizes for my "little" man. The trip to the store was typical.
[Insert typical tantrum from arnett here]
[Insert typical insensitive remark from cindy here]
On my way home she pm' ed me again saying she was leaving.
I told her she could call and as I parked we talked for quite a while. It was a hard talk but a good one. It was a very hard talk. I don't think Ill ever be simply "ok" with her playing. I would much rather be able to be there however often our needs required. Once a month, anything would be better than once every couple of yrs and/or someone else putting their hands on her. My feelings aside from what she said then and since it was a good experience for her.
After we spoke I get home and start getting ready -- gotta clean "tyler" off my boots. I manage to loose my keys and get frantic before finding them. When I do get going I run into heavy traffic. It turned out ok though. Babygirl called and we spoke until I got there. A new bit of info, she told me that she got nude when she played. That was hard to hear because it was something that I had said was a limit. I understand -- EVEN IF I STILL DONT LIKE IT -- why though. Finally I arrive at the munch and see lots of friendly faces ,old friends and soon to be friends. I spoke to Vi Johnson -- Im still green enough to get a kick out of her calling me sir. "Ole Girl" is already there talking to Momma Vi. We say hello but its so crowded that we have to sit apart. Another sub sits beside me at my table and we talk until "ole girl" makes her way over to an adjoining table. I excuse myself and sit down to talk to her. I see that she is drinking.
[insert prior talk on topic]
After that is settled its soon time for the play party -- Once there folks are annoyed -- Its a small small place. Most sit around and pout or go home. Slo did a pretty good rope demo -- in a style I really want to use on babygirl so I asked a lot of questions. When it was done "ole girl" and I played. It was very hard to focus at first. I stopped took a deep breath and relaxed. It was a good scene. I think so anyway. Except for the chair someone moved close after I started and snagged the flogger on. That was annoying but funny. When we were done she didn't need much after care. I helped her get her stuff together and we talked a bit and I was on my merry way. I cant ignore the good feelings I had during and after the scene. The one thing that was hard was how deeply I wanted to have sex. Not with "ole girl" just general horniness. I know Im not alone but a good bdsm scene is as good as any porno of raw wild sex.
When I checked my phone I saw that she was concerned and checking on me. That put a huge smile on my face. We talked all the way home and for over 30 mins as I was parked. Looking back I spent more time on the phone with her then I would normally on a sat. Mon we were talking while she was on her way to work. When she arrived she read a post about the munch and went into "novel" mode. I knew that she was posting to journal -- when she told me she had I read it. She put her feelings out there and there is no need to rehash them here. We did speak about them some --and Ill leave it at that for now. We are communicating which is the greatest. 


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