понедельник, 8 октября 2007 г.

lucifyre

i am so bored its unbelievable.we have now had two weeks of no work! and even when anything does come in the alien flies round their like a witch on her broomstick.
im going slowly mad here with boredom.
ive read the newspapers about four times from cover to cover and am trying to find as many things to occupy my brain as possible.dont help though that i feel like ive done something wrong as s is acting very wierd with me. but maybe its just my over active mind playing little games as ithas nothing else to concentrate on.
might just start writing a book?! lol least it willkeep ma hands occupied as from now on any fags breaks i take are going to come outof my flexi time.which is fucking bullshit
they dont do that to people who make a new cup of coffee every two minutes and spend a hour talking in the kitchen but oh no its atack the smoker once again.soon they will start docking our pay to reflect the amount of time we have to indulge in something that calms us down and keeps us happy.
if they wants stressedd pissed off workers then that is what they are going to get.
this place is a joke.
your never gonna earn a ot of money,most of the people are wierd and need serious help to make them seem at least human and you get no respect,no appreciation for anything and when you ask a question they ignore you or look at you like you a idiot or soemthing!
so fed up today of people
its prob the time of the year and the time of the month that is getting to me but i feel like if anyone pisses me off this afternoon it will come to blows cos ive got a lot of built up anger in me today and i am just dying to take it out on someone.
who is gonn abe the unlucky one i wonder
only three and a bit hours left thank god and then the same old shit 2moro all over again.
cant wait to get my probabtion out of the way and get out of this place
otherwise i will have a nervous breakdown
and i swear to god if she talks to herself all afternoon i will smack her in the face with something very heavy.
if i got her after work there is nothing she could really do about it.
be my word against hers
wonder who they would believe?
i was really naughty today,i ate
i was doing so well and i bloody fucked up yet again
i dont need food,i dont need it
aslong as i keep telling myself this,finally it might just sink in
unlike with her who needs to draw it in crayons to understand it. with no long words sheis now huffing like a pig.
cant even go out for a smoke to calm me down now
bloody nazi's
i pay my tax's,in fact i pay a hell of a lot considering the tiny amount i earn
life is shit.
might go bk to the docs and be put bk on ma pills
i dunno im running out of options here
its either that or throw myself off a cliff
yeah ive started s/hing again and have no intention to stop tbh.
why should i,not as if anyone cares enough to say 'no dont do it' anymore
its just me and i feel like self destructing
i have no positive thing in my life.
all i do is work,go home and sleep.
yeah thats a life worth living..................not!
im aware that im rambling but i literally have nothing else to do
i really really really wanna slam her head oon her desk, that would be so satisfying.
worth loosing my job over. least i went out fighting and for a good course.ya never know it might make her one brain cell work :-p
what cracks me up is that it has stuff to do but just does nothing. stares like it is trying to figureout how to form words or even just a thought.
it is dumb and doesnt deserve a name
it hasnt got a life or friends or a family that cares.
it isnt a human being
it is a alien
it has screws loose
it has a tache and it will never be kissed
it looks like a skeleton
it doesnt eat
it doesnt drink
it has never had sex
it is cold to the touch
it is the only person that can make me this mad and malicious
anyone else i would be making excuses for their wierd behaviour,but not it
it is horrible,thick,a bitch and dont deserve to have anything good

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