fourtythousand

 I almost walked into the sex shop to buy a vibrator the other day. Well, maybe not so much gt a vibrator, but it's the only thing I can think when it comes to toys, or something sexy for myself. there must be tones of other gadgets and toys on themarket but for some reason vibrator always seems to be the thing to get. I hope I didn't give th wrong impression to that new guy I made friends with, why am I being so incescure about it? Is there anything to suggest it? And well, it's the poin thtat I'm trying to make a good impression and I'm not sure if it was in yey or ney to it. it's so hard, having new friendships o ver internet! I'm impressioned by him I can tell and I'm kinda glad too. I's been a while. I just wish he wasn't 2384972 miles away. 

I realize that I complicate things soo much, and it isn't until I'm out of it all and see someone else complicating things, that I really see how much it really isn't necessary; get an idea of how it works when it plays out in someone else's life. Interesting. people at different stages or having certain and compliling different attributes: openness, freedom, vulnerability, insecurity, depth, and many more - all of which I wish to achieve or learn about. I feel so blessed to be making progress in my life. It IS specail and cherishable, some people never get to this stage, some people just stop asking for help, or just don't see that there is more freedom to be offered in life.