moonsiney_girl: That 70s show quotes - season 8

Red caught Kitty smoking pot

Red: Kitty? What the hell?! What do you have to say for yourself?!

Kitty: I'm STARVING!

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Red: Kitty when we got married, we took a vow. To be together through sickness and in health. But nobody said anything about what to do if your wife turns into a dope fiend! You're a nurse for God's sake! You know this stuff is bad news!

Hyde: Bad news isn't the half of it! Here are the facts: when the smoke hits the

brain, the cells start dying. This process causes impaired judgement and hallucinations and a

lot of other wonderful things.

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Red: Kitty, if you were feeling blue, you didn't have to turn to drugs ! I would have made

you a Martini!

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Kelso: Tell you what, that's the last time I wanna mess around with a girl with a boyfriend.

Donna: Kelso, your hand is on my butt.

Kelso: Come on he's in Africa!

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Kitty: You know, I never used to understand that hippie-jargon, but ever since my "bathroom-experiment", I'm cool man!

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Hyde: Oh my God, what did I do...?

Red: You married a Las Vegas stripper. Congratulations. With Eric gone, you're the town dumbass!

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Kelso: OOOOOOH HYDE YOU MARRIED A STRIPPER I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH

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Kelso: Well Hyde, you're freakin' out man. You married a stripper! You're living every guys dream! Well not my dream, my dream is always the same, monkey gives me the finger and flaps his lips at me and takes off

with my clothes. Trust me, you don't wanna live that dream.

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Kelso: Well well, another day in the life of Point Place police officer. I just confiscated a whole box of lighters, paraphernalia and illegal substances... ice work officer.

Hyde: Now we're hooked up for two months.

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Hyde: Leo were you trying to hire somebody?

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Leo: You know yesterday I was having a hard time opening up a jar of pickles so I put the Help Wanted sign up. Too late man, I found something else to eat.

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Jackie: Wait, wait, what, you like Donna?! She reads books for fun!

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Hyde: Man, I can't fire Leo. He's like a father to me. Well like a friend. Well he's like a guy who always has lighter.

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Kelso: So if you're not gonna fire Randy and you're not gonna fire Leo, I got a question. Can I see your wife boobs?

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Kelso: I still can't believe our little Hyde went off and married a Las Vegas stripper.

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Fez: Yeah. Now we have to give him a present. What says congratulations on your wedding and I want to nail your wife.

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Randy: Wife I didn't now you were married.

Samantha: Yup, they said it wouldn't last but we're going on six days now.

Randy: Hey, we got to throw you a killer bachelor party.

Hyde: No, absolutely not. If you want to spend money on a stripper, take Samantha shopping.

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Randy (about being in jail): Fez, I don't think this is part of the bachelor party. They fingerprinted us!
Fez: Well I don't know. Maybe that's how the strippers know what to charge. You know, at the end of the night, they count the fingerprints on their boobies and they know who owes what

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Randy: Fez, you find a place, Kelso, you buy the beer, and Leo, you are in charge of the adult entertainment. Leo: Okay, man. But I haven't stripped since I was at Chippendale's! Fez: You were not at Chippendale's.
Leo: Oh, right. I stripped in Bloomingdale's. I used to be really kinda out of it.

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Randy: We are throwing Hyde a bachelor party!
Kelso: Bachelor party? That is awesome! Okay, the first guy that throws up has to pay for everything! No wait, that's always me. Uhh, okay, the second guy...ah that's me too. Awesome! I'm paying!

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Samantha: This isn't the first time I had to deal with an angry ex girlfriend, or wife or mother. One time it was one guy's boyfriend. That was just weird.

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Kitty: Wasn't it nice to get out for a change. We had a good meal, a nice conversation and look we stayed out past nine. It's like New Year’s Eve.

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Kelso: There was an emergency at the ice cream stand. They hired a new girl and she's super cute.

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Leo: I don't have any money man. All I have is a ticket for the 1964 world's fair. One more year. I can't wait.

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Jackie: Did you mean that Donna? Am I really your best friend?

Donna: Yeah. Of course.

Jackie (to Samantha): HA! Stuff that up your g-string and smoke it.

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Kitty: I'm throwing a surprise party, but don't tell Red. Ever since Pearl Harbor he has hated surprises.

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Hyde: Sam! What did I tell you about parading around half-naked in front of my friends? If you're gonna do it, you've gotta charge 'm!

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Jackie: I mean, yes, we have our problems, but getting married will fix everything.

Fez: And if that doesn't work, you can just have a kid.

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Kelso: You told Jackie I was gonna propose to her?!

Fez: Yes and you should have seen all the squealing and jumping around! And Jackie was excited too!

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Fez: Great! Let's go buy a ring!

Kelso: No, Jackie once said that she'd rather have a balloon tied around her finger than a diamond under two carats. So let's go buy a balloon!

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Kitty: You wanna take me for an afternoon tryst to a cheap motel? That is so romantic!

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Kelso: Jacqueline Burkhart, will you marry me?

Jackie: Oh Michael! No.

Fez: Congratu...What the hell?

Kelso: No?

Jackie: No.

Kelso: Jackie, you have just made me the happiest man in the world!

Jackie: Really?

Kelso: Yeaaahhh! Ohhh maaaannn! I mean, I love you and all, but, it's like... this is like the worst idea I've ever had! And I have had some bad ideas! I mean a fire-cracker suit?! Like what the hell was that?

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Donna: Kelso, I'm kinda gonna miss you constantly trying to grab my boob. Made me feel pretty...I am messed up...

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Samantha: Mrs. Forman, a great way to get a man's attention is to show him how smart you are. But a faster way is to take your clothes off.

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Hyde: It'll be like watching my Mom strip. Which unfortunately I saw at "Take your son to work day".

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Donna: Think. Who have you seen today?

Leo: Well I remember a guy with scraggly hair and a beard. And he was brushing his teeth.

Donna: That was you in a mirror.

Leo: And then there's this other guy, with big lips and another guy with long hair and another guy with a thumbtack in his head.

Randy: That would be the Aerosmith poster.

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Red: Well that's just great Bob. Maybe if you'd written a bunch of angry letters to Hitler we could've avoided a war in the first place.

Kitty: I don't think that would have worked. That Hitler seemed like a real cranky bear.

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Kitty: Leo took some pretty great pictures of Bob and Midge when they renewed their vows. He even got a rare one of Red smiling. I sent it to the museum.

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Red: Leo? You're a veteran?! How come you never told me?

Leo: Well there is a lot of things you don't know about me man. For instance, I'm a veteran.

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Fez: I can't believe Eric and Donna are through. I always thought they'd live happily ever after, like Romeo and Juliet.

Hyde: Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet?

Fez: I didn't have to finish it. It is so obvious what happens.

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Fez: I'm talking about the new guy sitting in my chair.

Donna: Fez, chairs are first come, first served. We decided that in The Great Chair Negotiation of '78.

Hyde: Although that doesn't apply to me due to the "If you sit in my chair, I'll kick you in the nad's" amendment.

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Fez: Listen Randy. Just because I ate three hamburgers... doesn't mean I like you. It just means I have no self-control.

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Donna: We're stealing a clown! God, being bad is so exciting. My palms are sweaty. When I was with Eric, the only times my palms were sweaty was when I was holding his sweaty palms.

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Fez: Why are you so afraid of clowns?

Jackie: It was my 7th birthday party. This clown asked me if I wanted to smell his pretty flower. And when I did... it squirted water all over my face... and then he offered me his handkerchief... when I pulled it out of his pocket... it just kept coming... and coming... and coming...

Fez: And that's why you hate clowns?

Jackie: No, later I walked in on him making out with my Mom. ????? Bastard!

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Randy: Okay, wire cutters, crescent wrench and a bolt cutter.

Donna: What about an axe? Do we need an axe?

Hyde: No...I think we're good... but if we decided to go on a killing rampage in a sleep-away camp... I'll call you.

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Randy: What's the big deal? I'll just ask Red if I can borrow the car.

Hyde: Uh while you’re at it, why don't you ask Red if your ass can borrow his foot.

Randy: Uhh no. I think I'll just ask for the car.

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Donna: I can't believe I'm an accessory to crime! We could get caught! I could get arrested! I could go to a girl-prison this freakin' rocks.

Hyde: I remember my first crime. Grand theft tricycle. I did three days in the crib for that job.

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Hyde: Bob has gotten into a fight with a ceramic clown!

Donna: Believe it or not, it wasn't the first time.

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Donna: Okay you guys, after this we should steal a car! No! A kid!

Hyde: Donna...that's kidnapping.

Donna: Okay fine, a dog! Just something alive!

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Jackie: Look at that freaky-ass clown. It's just staring at me... he doesn't even blink...

Donna: It's because he likes you. He loves you. He wants to marry you and then. Kill you!

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Fez: What the hell are we gonna do?

Donna: It's so simple, it's so freakin' simple! All we need to do is get rid of the body. We need a hacksaw, a bunch of garbage bags and a bathtub filled with acid.

Hyde: Yeah guys, this is serious. You know what the penalty for stealing a clown is? The cops line you up and shoot you with one of those guns that has a flag that says Bang.

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Donna: I can't believe we're taking the clown back. You know what we should have done? Smash it into powder, mix it in the Fatsoburgers and force fed it to the redundant old fart who owns the place. Now that's sick!

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Donna: I got a hold of something. I used to think criminals were stupid for returning to the scene of the crime. But I get it now. It's all about the rush!

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Hyde: So there it is. The clown's back, everyone is happy, none of us went to jail. What a waste of time.

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Fez: Well Miss Kitty, thank you so much for having lunch with me.

Kitty: Well I am always up for a salad and a Martini in the middle of the day.

Fez: You didn't have a salad.

Kitty: Well olives and onions are almost a salad.

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Kitty: And how is that husband of yours?

Marcia: Great. He lost 3000 pounds... when I took his Mercedes in the divorce.

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Donna: You know, for years older men have dated younger women. And now it's finally okay for a younger man to date an older woman. I guess what I'm trying to say is: gross!

Fez: Say what you want, but Mrs. Sullivan is so much more passionate then girls your age. You kids just lie there. Mrs. Sullivan, she moves, she shakes, she makes noises.

Hyde: Are you sure she wasn't having a stroke?

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Jackie: Ohhh look at this. Donna's diary. Oh I haven't looked in here in like a month. Ah damn, it's locked.

Fez: Ah the keys are in one of the desk drawers. I'm not sure which. There's always a branch blocking my view.

Randy: Eh okay, I'm heading out, but I think what Donna needs for her birthday. Thicker curtains and a restraining order.

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season 7 quotes part 1 part 2